IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Many developed countries are giving financial aid to poor countries. However, this hasn’t solved the problem of poverty in these nations and so other types of help are needed. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the statement?

It is an undeniable fact that underdeveloped
nations
Use synonyms
 are always assisted by the developed union. There are so many
countries
Use synonyms
who
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 provide financial support to underprivileged ones.
Although
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 poor
countries
Use synonyms
 are assisted with money from other
countries
Use synonyms
 still they have to face poverty. I largely agree with the statement there should be other forms of help that must be provided
along with
Linking Words
 the money. There is no doubt that
countries
Use synonyms
 stand with each other through thick and thin. Even if it is the situation of natural disaster or any kind of war among
nations
Use synonyms
 . They always provide help to their neighbouring
countries
Use synonyms
. To cite an example, when Gaza was attacked by the Europe
countries
Use synonyms
 at that time there were so many
nations
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as Canada and America who helped Gaza.
Along with
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
, the people from Ukraine were
also
Linking Words
 welcomed by Canada and America so that they could get accommodations. Moving
further
Linking Words
, underprivileged
population
Fix the agreement mistake
populations
show examples
 need help in natural pandemics
such
Linking Words
 as earthquakes,floods and so on. To demonstrate it , when all
countries
Use synonyms
 were struggling with Covid 19 at that time they were helped by other
countries
Use synonyms
 as they got vaccines from China and U.K. With the cooperation among
nations
Use synonyms
, they
finally
Linking Words
 saved the world from coronavirus.
In addition
Linking Words
 to
this
Linking Words
, when there was a fire in the forest in Australia, there were helicopters sent by Americans so that they could fight the situation. I largely believe, that there are other ways
such
Linking Words
 as supporting natural disasters by providing food and accommodation to the affected
countries
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, there should be a strong bond between
countries
Use synonyms
 so that other
countries
Use synonyms
 will help the underprivileged
nations
Use synonyms
.

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task achievement
Try to provide a clearer thesis statement in the introduction that directly addresses the prompt. This will help set the stage for your arguments and indicate your stance more clearly.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that your paragraphs maintain a clear focus and development of ideas. Try to stick to one main idea per paragraph and ensure that all sentences relate back to this idea.
coherence and cohesion
Include a conclusion that summarizes your key points and reiterates your stance on the issue. This helps in wrapping up your argument effectively.
task achievement
The use of examples to illustrate points, such as assistance during natural disasters and pandemic responses, is commendable and enhances your argument.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial aid
  • development aid
  • sustainable development
  • economic growth
  • vocational training
  • poverty alleviation
  • infrastructure development
  • trade and investment
  • healthcare initiatives
  • technological transfers
  • corruption and governance
  • effective utilization
  • long-term solutions
  • economic disparity
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