IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

People should choose their course of study not on the basis of their own interests, but based on the kinds of jobs they can get. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Many people select their majors in
colloge
Correct your spelling
college
collage
 based on their interests and current skills.
While
Linking Words
 others, Think that
students
Use synonyms
 should be realistic when choosing the path of their future careers. Personally, I disagree with that statement. In
this
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essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
 I'll illustrate my answer. Some
students
Use synonyms
 around the world believe that someday when they get to their
collage
Correct your spelling
college
show examples
 years,
That
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
eventually they will choose the optimal major based on
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their
intrests
Correct your spelling
interests
. But in
reality
Add a comma
reality,
show examples
 many young adults do not know what they are
intrested
Correct your spelling
interested
 in yet. And by restricting their choices and forcing them to select their careers based on what is available. would not be ideal for them.
For instance
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, Parents
expecting
Wrong verb form
expect
show examples
 their children to become doctors since most
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
 family members
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 in the medical field already and they will pass knowledge to them. I believe that limiting
Use synonyms
students
Change noun form
students'
student's
show examples
 choices and restricting their vision is unacceptable.
And the
Correct word choice
The
show examples
 reasons for my answer are;
First,
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It is already hard enough for individuals to discipline themselves to continue studying the majors they choose, Let alone pursuing a major that they dislike, And that could decline their passion for studying
all together
Replace the word
altogether
show examples
.
Second,
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I myself experienced
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
lose
Replace the word
loss
show examples
 of
interst
Correct your spelling
interest
 in learning when my parents suggested
to pursue
Change the verb form
pursuing
show examples
 a teaching job since it's
nobal
Correct your spelling
noble
global
 and the best fit for me.
In
Change preposition
As
show examples
result
Correct article usage
a result
show examples
, I wasted 4 years of my life
pusrsuing
Correct your spelling
pursuing
 a career I didn't see myself in. In conclusion,
Students
Use synonyms
 should select their majors by themselves and if things
went
Wrong verb form
go
show examples
 south it is on them. And selecting a career for them could lose their passion
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
 education.

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Language and Accuracy
Make sure to proofread your writing to correct spelling and grammatical errors, like 'colloge' (should be 'college') and 'intrests' (should be 'interests').
Coherence
Ensure your ideas are organized in clear paragraphs; each paragraph should focus on a single main idea and include supporting details.
Task Response
Strengthen your introduction to clearly outline your argument or perspective. You may also want to summarize your main points in the conclusion.
Task Achievement
You have presented a clear personal stance against choosing a study major based on job availability, which is a great start!
Task Achievement
Your use of personal experience adds authenticity and richness to your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • course of study
  • job prospects
  • market demands
  • employment opportunities
  • financial security
  • personal fulfillment
  • innovation
  • job market
  • career advancement
  • critical thinking
  • creativity
  • adaptability
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