IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that the fast pace and stress of modern life is having a negative effect on families. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In recent years,
due to
Linking Words
 hectic schedules,
people
Use synonyms
 are suffering from numerous difficulties. Some groups of
people
Use synonyms
 believe that the fast-paced environment and stress of today’s
life
Use synonyms
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 creating a negative effect on families. I totally agree with
this
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 impact and will discuss some reasons with related examples in the following essay.
To begin
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 with, there are several reasons that can be considered to support
this
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 viewpoint. The predominant reason is that
busy
Correct article usage
a busy
show examples
life
Use synonyms
 makes individuals away from their loved ones.
Therefore
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, the bond between each other has been decreased.
For instance
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, nowadays, working parents are not able to spend enough time with their children.
As a result
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, children are paying more attention to electronic devices and social media rather than spending time with their parents. Not only that but
due to
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 a lot of work,
people
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 are suffering from various types of mental issues.
Therefore
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, they are unable to focus on their
life
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as well as
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 their future goals.
For example
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, a study by the University of Waterloo mentioned that 60% of
people
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 are having depression because of stressful
life
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 and surroundings.
Furthermore
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, we cannot ignore that
a
Correct article usage
the
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 frequency of
get-together
Fix the agreement mistake
get-togethers
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 has
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
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declined.
As
Correct word choice
People
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people
Use synonyms
 want to spend their time alone for peace. In conclusion, the fast-paced and stress of modern
life
Use synonyms
 is having a major impact on families. As they are not having small meetings with each other.
As well as
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this
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 development is affecting individuals
mentaly
Correct your spelling
mentally
 and
physicaly
Correct your spelling
physically
physical
. Apart from that
people
Use synonyms
 are feeling isolated
due to
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 stress and less connection with their family members.

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task achievement
Expand on your main points with more detailed explanations and additional examples. This will enhance your overall argument and make the essay more persuasive.
coherence and cohesion
Try to use a wider range of linking words and phrases to improve the flow of your ideas. This will help in creating a smoother reading experience.
coherence and cohesion
Pay attention to minor grammar mistakes and ensure consistency in your terminology. For example, the phrase 'as well as this development is affecting individuals mentaly and physicaly' could be rephrased for clarity and corrected for spelling errors.
task achievement
You clearly stated your position on the topic in the introduction, which helps the reader understand your argument right from the start.
task achievement
You provided relevant examples to support your main points, which adds credibility to your argument and demonstrates a good understanding of the topic.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • modern life
  • fast pace
  • stress
  • negative effect
  • family bonds
  • working hours
  • conflicts
  • advancements in technology
  • distract
  • family time
  • financial pressures
  • living standards
  • strain
  • individuals
  • family activities
  • traditions
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