IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Few individuals have opinion that it is not important for adults to gain knowledge in class and self study is the better way for them to study more efficiently. To what extent do you agree or disagree

Few individuals have
opinion
Add an article
the opinion
an opinion
show examples
 that it is not important for adults to gain knowledge in class and
self
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
study
Use synonyms
 is the better way for them to
study
Use synonyms
 more efficiently. I strongly agree with the given statement and will elaborate
my
Change preposition
on my
show examples
 point of view in
upcoming
Correct article usage
the upcoming
show examples
 paragraph. At
first,
Linking Words
Adolf are
grown up
Add a hyphen
grown-up
show examples
individuals
Fix the agreement mistake
individual
show examples
 and
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 more efficient than
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
younger
once
Correct your spelling
ones
show examples
to
Change preposition
in studying
show examples
study
Use synonyms
 by themselves. On
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 hand, children need extra care time and patience for learning and remembering things.
For example
Linking Words
, a child will take extra time to learn the
basical atomy
Correct your spelling
basic anatomy
 of
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
,
in contrast
Linking Words
 to that, an adult can
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
learn it in a shorter time span
by
Change preposition
on
show examples
 their own more efficiently.
Secondly
Linking Words
, The aged population is well known
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
technology and the internet,
where as
Correct your spelling
whereas
show examples
 young children are not enough developed mentally to deal with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
gadgets, which are now
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
the best source of knowledge if we want to do
self
Add a hyphen
self-study
show examples
study
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, if an adult
is having
Wrong verb form
has
show examples
 any query for any of the
subject
Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
show examples
, he/she can have
solution
Fix the agreement mistake
solutions
show examples
 from the internet sources or sides like chat GPT, which can provide them more than enough information.
Moreover
Linking Words
, ad
also
Linking Words
 sometimes
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
feel
bore
Wrong verb form
bored
show examples
 in
a regular classes
Correct the article-noun agreement
regular classes
a regular class
show examples
, so in order to overcome the irritation in classes individuals prefer to
study
Use synonyms
by
Change preposition
on
show examples
 their own
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
while
Linking Words
 sitting in their most favourable
environmental
Replace the word
environment
show examples
.
for instance
Linking Words
, one can use wall notes or hangings as per their performance and thoughts. In a nutshell,
senior
Fix the agreement mistake
seniors
show examples
 once can
optus
Correct your spelling
opt
 self
Use synonyms
study
Correct your spelling
self-study
show examples
 as a good option
Linking Words
then
Replace the word
than
show examples
 having information in classrooms as it works in their higher intellect and not only
they
Add a missing verb
do they
show examples
 have various resources like
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
 but
also
Linking Words
can
Verb problem
apply
show examples
study
Use synonyms
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
for their cognitive skills.

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task achievement
Ensure that your introduction clearly states your stance and outlines the main points you will discuss. This will help set the stage for your argument.
coherence
To improve cohesion, use linking words and phrases to connect your ideas. This will lead to smoother transitions between sentences and paragraphs.
coherence
Revisit grammar and spelling to enhance clarity. For instance, correct words like 'basical' to 'basic' and 'optus' to 'opt for'.
task achievement
You have a clear stance on the topic, expressing strong agreement with the statement.
task achievement
You provide relevant examples to support your points, which is essential for a persuasive essay.
task achievement
Your use of personal and relatable examples can engage the reader and make your argument more compelling.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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