IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The three charts show the value in Australian dollars of Australian trade with three different countries from 2004 to 2009. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The three line graphs illustrate the
value
Use synonyms
 of Australian
imports
Use synonyms
 and
exports
Use synonyms
 with
China
Use synonyms
,
Japan
Use synonyms
, and the United States between 2004 and 2009.
Overall
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
 Australia’s
exports
Use synonyms
 to
China
Use synonyms
 and
Japan
Use synonyms
 increased significantly over the period,
exports
Use synonyms
 to the US remained relatively stable.
Imports
Use synonyms
 from the US and
Japan
Use synonyms
 fluctuated slightly,
whereas
Linking Words
imports
Use synonyms
 from
China
Use synonyms
 showed a consistent upward trend. As can be seen from the
China
Use synonyms
 chart, the
value
Use synonyms
 of
exports
Use synonyms
 grew gradually from 12 to 35 AS
billion
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, the
value
Use synonyms
 of the AS dollar in
imports
Use synonyms
 rose slowly until 2008 (18 to 30), and it remained stable at 30 AS
billion
Use synonyms
 from 2008 to 2009.
Secondly
Linking Words
, in Australia’s trade with
Japan
Use synonyms
 chart, the figures for
exports
Use synonyms
 and
imports
Use synonyms
are
Wrong verb form
were
show examples
 about 20 AS
billion
Use synonyms
 in 2004.
While
Linking Words
imports
Use synonyms
 fluctuated slightly around 20–22
billion
Use synonyms
 AUD during the six-year period,
exports
Use synonyms
 remained constant at 30
billion
Use synonyms
 AUD from 2005 to 2007, peaked at around 43
billion
Use synonyms
 in 2008,
then
Linking Words
 declined to 30
billion
Use synonyms
 in 2009. In the United States chart, the speed of both the
value
Use synonyms
 of currency in
imports
Use synonyms
 and
exports
Use synonyms
 is similar.
Imports
Use synonyms
stay
Wrong verb form
stayed
show examples
 unchanged at around 20 AS
billion
Use synonyms
 through the period, and the
value
Use synonyms
 of AS dollars in
exports
Use synonyms
increases
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
 slightly to 12
billion
Use synonyms
,
peaks
Wrong verb form
peaking
show examples
,
then
Linking Words
dips
Wrong verb form
dipping
show examples
 to 10
billion
Use synonyms
 in 2009.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
▼
Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
▼
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words value, imports, exports, china, japan, billion with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "stable" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "fluctuated" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 3 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: