IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Some people believe that nowadays we have too many choices. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

A lot of
people
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 think that today we have too many
choices
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.
This
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 essay agrees with the statement because of the
future
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 work and
future
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plans
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.
To begin
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 with,
people
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 need a better
job
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 for their life.
People
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 always want a good
job
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 with
the
Correct article usage
a
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 high salary and their
choices
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 today
effects
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affect
show examples
on
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apply
show examples
their
future
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Use synonyms
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
.
For example
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, there was an interview in Hawaii, USA in 1998 where
group
Add an article
a group
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 of workers were asked about their
job
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 and 67
percent
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per cent
show examples
 said that they achieved everything
due to
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right
Correct article usage
the right
show examples
choices
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 in their past. Continuing with,
people
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 always have
plans
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 for their life.
People
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 need to make
right
Correct article usage
the right
show examples
choices
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 for their
plans
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. Some of them
wants
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want
show examples
 to go on a vacation, others
wants
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want
show examples
 to be with their family and
choices
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effects
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
that desire.
For example
Linking Words
, there was an interview in Los Angeles in 2005 where
group
Add an article
a group
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 of random
people
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 were asked about their decisions in their life and 81 percent said that all their
choices
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 in their lives were only for their
plans
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. In conclusion, good and right
choices
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 can help
people
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 with
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 better
future
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job
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 or for unforgettable
future
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plans
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.

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coherence and cohesion
Try to provide a clearer connection between your main ideas and how they relate to the notion of having too many choices. This will help enhance the overall coherence of your argument.
task achievement
Consider elaborating on the examples you provided or adding more specific details to strengthen your points. This can help make your arguments clearer and more persuasive.
task achievement
When mentioning statistics from interviews, ensure that their relevance is clearly explained in the context of choices. This will help reinforce your thesis more effectively.
content
You have an interesting perspective on the impact of choices on future jobs and plans, which can resonate with many readers.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • overwhelmed
  • decision fatigue
  • paralysis by analysis
  • consumerism
  • globalization
  • personal autonomy
  • market saturation
  • option overload
  • decision-making process
  • psychological well-being
  • buyer's remorse
  • customization
  • trade-offs
  • minimalism
  • information superhighway
What to do next:
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