Some people think that competition at work, at school and daily life is a good thing. Others think we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

Competition
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is often seen as a driving force for improvement.
While
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some argue that cooperation is more beneficial, I believe healthy
competition
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motivates individuals to excel, fosters innovation, and prepares people for
real world
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real-world
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challenges.
Firstly
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,
competition
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pushes people to achieve their best. In schools, students who compete for grades or awards often work harder, leading to better academic performance.
For example
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, in many countries, competitive exams like the
Sat
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SAT
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or
Ielts
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IELTS
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encourage learners to strive for excellence. Without
such
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incentives, progress might stagnate.
Moreover
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,
competition
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drives innovation. In the workplace, companies compete to create better products, benefiting consumers. Tech giants like Apple and
samsung
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Samsung
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constantly improve their devices
due to
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market
rivailry
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rivalry
.
Similarly
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, athletes break records because they aim to outperform others. Without
competition
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, advancements would slow down.
Additionally
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,
competition
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prepares individuals for life’s challenges. Facing rivals teaches resilience, time management, and
goal setting
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goal-setting
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skills crucial for career success.
For instance
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, employees who thrive in competitive environments often earn promotions faster than those who avoid rivalry. Opponents of
competition
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argue it causes stress, but
this
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can be managed by balancing it with teamwork. The key is healthy
competition
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, not
cuthroat
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cutthroat
rivalry. In conclusion,
competition
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is essential for personal and societal growth. It encourages effort, sparks creativity, and builds vital skills. Rather than avoiding it, we should embrace it constructively.

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Coherence and Cohesion
Consider expanding your conclusion to summarize the main points discussed in the essay more clearly. This will reinforce your arguments and provide a more definitive take on the issue.
Coherence and Cohesion
Try using a wider range of connective phrases to enhance the flow of your ideas. This can help in linking paragraphs and making transitions smoother.
Task Achievement
While your examples are relevant, providing more specific details or varied examples could strengthen your arguments further and improve overall clarity.
Task Achievement
Your introduction clearly states your opinion and sets the context effectively, which helps readers understand your position from the beginning.
Coherence and Cohesion
The logical structure of your essay is strong, with each paragraph focusing on a clear central idea that supports your viewpoint.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
Topic Vocabulary:
  • innovation
  • productivity
  • excel
  • outperform
  • advancements
  • academic standards
  • work ethic
  • stress
  • anxiety
  • unhealthy rivalries
  • harmonious
  • supportive
  • collaborative learning
  • social skills
  • communication skills
  • sense of community
  • collective goals
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