IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Environmental issues have always been an international problem because governments are not imposing harsh punishments against offenders. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Support your answer with specific reasons and examples.

Environmental problems
such
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 as climate change, deforestation, and pollution have posed serious challenges to the global community for decades. Some argue that these issues persist mainly because governments fail to enforce strict penalties on those who harm the environment.
While
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 there is some truth to
this
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 claim, I believe the problem is more complex and cannot be attributed solely to the lack of harsh punishments. It is true that in many countries, environmental laws are either too lenient or poorly enforced. Companies that illegally dump waste or overexploit natural resources often face minimal fines that do little to deter future
offenses
Change the spelling
offences
show examples
.
For example
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, in certain developing countries, industries that release toxic chemicals into rivers may be fined a small amount,
while
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 continuing to profit enormously from their operations. In
such
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 cases, stricter punishments—
such
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 as large fines, license suspension, or even imprisonment—could act as stronger deterrents.
However
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, blaming governments alone oversimplifies the issue. Environmental degradation is often the result of systemic problems
such
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 as consumer culture, lack of education, and global economic pressures. Even in nations with strict environmental regulations,
such
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 as Germany or Sweden, challenges remain
due to
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 high levels of consumption and industrial activity.
Moreover
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, international corporations may simply shift their polluting activities to countries with weaker regulations, a phenomenon known as “pollution havens.”
In addition
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, public awareness and civic engagement are equally vital. Without widespread support and understanding from citizens, even the strictest laws may be ignored or circumvented.
For instance
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, recycling programs and renewable energy initiatives succeed best in societies where individuals actively support sustainable practices. In conclusion,
while
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 insufficient punishment for environmental crimes does contribute to the problem, it is not the sole reason. A combination of stricter enforcement, public education, and international cooperation is required to effectively address environmental issues. Governments play a key role, but so do businesses and individuals.

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task achievement
Consider adding more specific examples, particularly in the paragraph discussing consumer culture and how it contributes to environmental issues. Mentioning actual instances where public awareness has led to positive change could strengthen your argument.
coherence and cohesion
While your essay is well-structured, make sure to use a wider range of cohesive devices to enhance the flow of your ideas. For example, using phrases like 'On the other hand' or 'In contrast' can help clarify comparisons between points.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction clearly outlines your stance on the issue and provides a roadmap for your argument, which is excellent for setting up your essay's structure.
task achievement
The arguments presented are logical, and your use of examples to illustrate your points is effective, particularly when discussing the inadequacy of fines in developing countries.
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