IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

School children should be required to wear uniforms. Do you agree or disagree?

There is a view that
students
Use synonyms
 in government schools should be required to wear
uniforms
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.
Although
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this
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 could promote equality and
focus
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 among
students
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, I believe it limits
children
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's
less
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
self-expression and could be costly for some families. Requiring
students
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 to wear
uniforms
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 in
school
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 has several benefits, one of which is promoting equality. It could help prevent
children
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 from discriminating against each other based on their status.
Also
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, if everyone looks the same, there will be less
focus
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 on economic and social differences.
This
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 can help reduce
the
Correct article usage
apply
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bullying and make the
school
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 environment fairer and more conducive to learning.
Furthermore
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, if
students
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 always wear
uniforms
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, their
focus
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 will be solely on studying and nothing else.
Students
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 would worry less about what to wear and
focus
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 more on their studies.
Moreover
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, it may even help
students
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 improve their GPA . In my opinion,
however
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,
by
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apply
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requiring
students
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 to wear
uniforms
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 in
school
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 would limit their self-expression .
Uniforms
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 prevent
students
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 from showcasing their individual style or personality .The
school
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 phase is
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
one of the important
period
Change to a plural noun
periods
show examples
 for
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children
Change noun form
children's
show examples
 growth, and if they don't feel comfortable wearing
uniforms
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, it could restrict their freedom and creativity. Another disadvantage of wearing
uniforms
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 at
school
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 is the cost for some families. Some schools may require
uniforms
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 to be branded or custom-made.
As a result
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, parents could face difficulty buying these
uniforms
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 for their
children
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. In conclusion,
while
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 wearing
uniforms
Use synonyms
 at
school
Use synonyms
 could promote equality and
focus
Use synonyms
 on studying
between
Change preposition
among
show examples
students
Use synonyms
, I believe it limits
children
Use synonyms
's self-expression and may be costly for some families.

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task achievement
Consider providing more specific examples to support your points about the benefits and drawbacks of school uniforms. Adding personal anecdotes or statistical evidence can strengthen your arguments.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure clarity in your sentences. A few sentences are slightly convoluted and could benefit from clearer phrasing. For example, rephrase 'by requiring students to wear uniforms in school would limit their self-expression' to 'requiring students to wear uniforms in school limits their self-expression.'
coherence and cohesion
Use varied sentence structures to enhance the flow of your writing. Consider combining shorter sentences to create a smoother reading experience.
task achievement
You effectively present both sides of the argument regarding school uniforms, showcasing a balanced view on the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion clearly state your opinion and wrap up your arguments effectively, making it easy for the reader to follow your stance.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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