IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The graph below sgives information about the percentage of the population in four asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040.. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below sgives information about the percentage of the population in four asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040.. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The given graph provides details about the average of the
population
Use synonyms
 in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, it
also
Linking Words
 shows predictions for 2030 and 2040. From the line graph, in 1970 the percentage of
population
Use synonyms
 in; the Philippines was 31%, Malaysia was 30%, Thailand was 19% and Indonesia was 15%. For the upcoming years till 2020, all four countries had upward trajectories of
population
Use synonyms
 increase, except for one, the Philippines managed to control and lower its
population
Use synonyms
 percentage from 1990 till 2010, afterwards, it again started to rise. On comparing the provided trajectories,
Malaysai
Correct your spelling
Malaysia
 has
rapid
Change the word
rapidly
show examples
increasing
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
 in
norm
Add an article
the norm
show examples
, especially after 1990 and in 2040 it will have the highest average,
while
Linking Words
, Indonesia will have
lower
Correct article usage
a lower
show examples
. In
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
conclusion, for all four countries, the mean
population
Use synonyms
 kept on increasing. There could be several reasons for
this
Linking Words
, a healthy diet, better and cheaper health facilities, a clean environment, higher birth rate.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words population with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "provides" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: