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Writing Samples
Band 7

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population living in cities in four Asian countries from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population living in cities in four Asian countries from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The graph shows data regarding the proportion of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
inhabitants living in
cities
Use synonyms
 in four specific countries in Asia between 1970 and 2020, with predictions by 2040.
It is clear that
Linking Words
 the most populated country is Malaysia. In
this
Linking Words
 country,
as well as
Linking Words
 in Indonesia, the percentage of those resided
cities
Use synonyms
 increase dramatically throughout the period,
whereas
Linking Words
 in
Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
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 and Thailand, the proportion fluctuates. Focusing first on Indonesia and Malaysia, in 1970, approximately 10 and 30 per
cent
Use synonyms
 of their population lived in
cities
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,
whereas
Linking Words
 by 2000, these figures increased significantly to roughly 25 and 60 per
cent
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. After that, the proportion skyrockets, with 6 in 10 and 9 in 10 people who
is
Change the verb form
are
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 predicted to choose
cities
Use synonyms
 by 2040. As for the remaining countries, at the beginning of the period, nearly 20 and 30 per
cent
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 of citizens resided in
cities
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 in Thailand and
Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
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,
while
Linking Words
 by 1990, their number rose to almost 30% and 50%, which remained relatively stable by 2020.
However
Linking Words
, by the end of the period, these figures are expected to increase marginally to between 45 and 50 per
cent
Use synonyms
 for each country.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "whereas".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words cities, cent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 3 times.
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