IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

In many countries, people now wear western clothes( suits, jeans) rather than traditional clothing.Why? Is this a positive or negative development?

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Introduction
There is no denying the fact that
people
Use synonyms
 these days
likes
Change the verb form
like
show examples
 to
Use synonyms
ware
Verb problem
wear
show examples
 western
clothes
Use synonyms
 like
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
pans and tops but
dose
Correct your spelling
does
show examples
 that
effact
Correct your spelling
affect
 to not
Use synonyms
ware
Correct your spelling
wear
show examples
 traditional
clothes
Use synonyms
 or not, in
this
Linking Words
 essay will talk about the negatives of that .
Body paragraph 1
Firstly
Linking Words
,
new
Add an article
the new
a new
show examples
 generation
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
forgetin
Correct your spelling
forgetting
forget in
 about
there
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
 original
clothes
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 and where they come from to
persent
Correct your spelling
present
 their country and
there
Replace the word
their
show examples
idnesity
Correct your spelling
identity
,
for
Linking Words
example
Add the comma(s)
example,
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 the USA is the most
contry
Correct your spelling
country
 in the world that are getting forget
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
there
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
 traditional suits and
taxido
Correct your spelling
taxi do
taxi
 because the kids
did
Wrong verb form
do
show examples
 not get
teach
Change the form of the verb
taught
show examples
 to
Use synonyms
ware
Correct your spelling
wear
show examples
 it, so to fix
Linking Words
this parents
Change the determiner
this parent
these parents
show examples
 need to teach
there
Replace the word
their
show examples
 kids the
teaditional
Correct your spelling
traditional
clothes
Use synonyms
 and how
improtent
Correct your spelling
important
 it is with that by the time the
clothes
Use synonyms
 will still be the same.
Body paragraph 2
Moreover
Linking Words
, the traditional
clothes
Use synonyms
people
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
ware
Correct your spelling
wear
show examples
 it in the
improtent
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important
impotent
 event so if
people
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start
Add the particle
start to
show examples
 take
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
clothes
Use synonyms
 unseriously that will
damge
Correct your spelling
damage
 the
respact
Correct your spelling
respect
 the place and the
people
Use synonyms
 to
Use synonyms
ware
Correct your spelling
wear
show examples
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
western
clothes
Use synonyms
,
fro
Correct your spelling
for
show examples
 instance
people
Use synonyms
 in
saudi
Change the capitalization
Saudi
show examples
 if you
did
Wrong verb form
do
show examples
 not
Use synonyms
ware
Correct your spelling
wear
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
traditional
clothes
Use synonyms
 in the wedding they will find that
disrespact
Correct your spelling
disrespect
disrespects
 for the
people
Use synonyms
 and the bridegroom so
people
Use synonyms
 need to be aware
about
Change the preposition
of
show examples
this
Linking Words
 point .
Conclusion
In the
end
Add a comma
end,
show examples
 it is hard to make
people
Use synonyms
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
ware
Use synonyms
 something or not
their
Replace the word
there
show examples
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 different
opinion
Fix the agreement mistake
opinions
show examples
 and
Choice
Fix the agreement mistake
Choices
show examples
 to choose
becareful
Correct your spelling
be careful
 what you
ware
Use synonyms
 and what not for the event and the type of it, it is so good to love your
idnesity
Correct your spelling
identity
 and where you come from and be proud to
Use synonyms
ware
Correct your spelling
wear
show examples
 it even if you in
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 other
contry
Correct your spelling
country
.

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coherence and cohesion
Work on structuring your essay more clearly. Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and that your points flow logically from one to the next.
task achievement
Expand your arguments and provide more specific examples to support your points. This will help in making your ideas clearer and more compelling.
language accuracy
Pay attention to grammar and spelling, as errors can make your writing harder to understand. For example, 'likes' should be 'like' and 'ware' should be 'wear.'
content
You present a clear opinion on the topic and attempt to discuss the negative impacts of adopting western clothing.
content
You highlight the importance of traditional clothing in cultural identity, which is a relevant point.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Globalization
  • Influence
  • Perception
  • Modern
  • Trendy
  • Practicality
  • Comfort
  • Professionalism
  • Integration
  • Global economy
  • Cultural identity
  • Appreciation
  • Preservation
  • Individual expression
  • Freedom of choice
  • Positive
  • Negative
  • Impacts
  • Local industries
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