IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Many things that used to be done in the home by hands are now being done by machines. Does this development bring more advantages or disadvantages?

Many household activities that were previously done by
hands
Fix the agreement mistake
hand
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 are now being done by various
equipments
Correct your spelling
equipment
. The essay thinks that
such
Linking Words
 kind of development has more merits rather
Correct word choice
than dismerits
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dismerits
Correct your spelling
demerits
 because of saving
time
Use synonyms
 and providing comfort. All people do different activities in
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 homes
such
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 as cleaning, cooking
as well as
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 laundry. If in the past these were
Use synonyms
time demanding
Add a hyphen
time-demanding
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 things, now they are not
due to
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 the availability of machines. That advancement helps society save much
time
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 which they can use on other more important things.
In other words
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,
instead
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 of washing clothes by
hands
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hand
show examples
 for many hours, members of our community spend quality
time
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 with their families, friends or colleagues.
For instance
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, researchers
of
Change preposition
at
show examples
 Yale University say that since the emergence and presence of washing machines,
Use synonyms
time
Correct article usage
the time
show examples
 that women spend with their families has increased by 47.3% by 2025. One more advantage that was brought by that trend is convenience. Humans do not have to face any difficulties in order to perform
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
.
That is
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 to say, nobody struggles when washing сlothes piled up over the week or when cooking for a big family.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, it makes life easier for vulnerable population groups,
such
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 as old people, disabled people or pregnant women; they avoid both risks and obstacles which can arise
while
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 cleaning or washing.
For example
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, surgeons of Central Baku Hospital say that in the
last
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 10 years, the number of elderly who fell or got injured has decreased by approximately 33.1%, which is a positive development.
To conclude
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,
existence
Add an article
the existence
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 of machines in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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homes
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 replaced
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
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 that
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 done by
hands
Fix the agreement mistake
hand
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
 essay considers it gives more benefits like convenience and
time
Use synonyms
 efficiency

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task achievement
Your introduction presents a clear thesis statement, but consider rephrasing it for better clarity and using more formal language. Instead of 'the essay thinks,' say 'this essay argues.'
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to properly link your ideas throughout the essay. For example, use linking phrases to connect the advantages you've discussed to the main point more clearly.
task achievement
Adding a paragraph discussing some disadvantages of machine use would provide balance and a more comprehensive exploration of the topic.
task achievement
You provide relevant examples to support your points, such as the time spent with families and the decrease in injuries among elderly people, contributing to the strength of your arguments.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Automation
  • Efficiency
  • Manual labor
  • Displacement
  • Homemaking skills
  • Technological advancements
  • Self-sufficiency
  • Resource depletion
  • Energy efficiency
  • Social dynamics
  • Operational understanding
What to do next:
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