IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Increase in the price of petrol is the best way to solve the traffic jams and pollution problem. To the what extent you agree or disagree with this statement. What other measures can be taken to solve traffic problem and pollution problem

It is suggested by some individuals that in order to control congestion on roads and pollution in the environment, the rates of
petrol
Use synonyms
 should be increased. I totally disagree with
this
Linking Words
 statement because controlling the
Use synonyms
prices
Fix the agreement mistake
price
show examples
 of
petrol
Use synonyms
 is not a feasible solution. There are other measures which need to be taken if they want to control
vehicles
Use synonyms
 on roads, which I will discuss
further
Linking Words
. The first measure which can be taken is the infrastructure of public transportation. The government should invest in eco-friendly motor
vehicles
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as the introduction of electric buses and trains.
Additionally
Linking Words
, the rates of tickets should
also
Linking Words
 be affordable and there should be an accurate schedule of buses on the roads. Which can be a good solution to attract the attention of people. If they start using public transportation which provides them comfort at low
prices
Use synonyms
 and arrives on time. People will automatically stop using their own
vehicles
Use synonyms
. Another measure is regulations to use one vehicle per family. Strict fines should be imposed on people who break
this
Linking Words
 law. When nations have fair fines they will follow the guidelines set by politicians.
Moreover
Linking Words
, citizens should
also
Linking Words
 taught the importance of ride sharing
such
Linking Words
 as they can save money on insurance for different cars, and the
prices
Use synonyms
 of
petrol
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 they can spend quality time with each other if they travel by one automobile.
This
Linking Words
awarness
Correct your spelling
awareness
 can be a good turn to stop jams and pollution. In essence, the question of if the
prices
Use synonyms
 of
petrol
Use synonyms
 are increased does it will help to reduce
vehicles
Use synonyms
 on the road and save the environment? To solve
this
Linking Words
,
administration
Add an article
the administration
show examples
 has to play a huge role. They can improve public
vehicles
Use synonyms
,
the
Correct word choice
and the
show examples
 introduction of e-
vehicles
Use synonyms
 and restrictions and awareness
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
also
Linking Words
 necessary.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Include a clear thesis statement in your introduction and make sure each paragraph directly supports it.
coherence and cohesion
There are some minor grammatical errors; work on sentence structure and language accuracy. Examples include inconsistencies in verb tense and phrasing.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure smoother transitions between sentences and paragraphs to enhance the flow of your argument.
task achievement
In your conclusion, reiterate your main points and clearly state your position on the issue.
task achievement
You have presented alternative measures to price increases effectively, which shows critical thinking.
coherence and cohesion
The structure of the essay is generally clear, with distinct paragraphs for different ideas.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: