It has been suggested that primary children should learn how to grow vegetables and keep animals.do advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages.

Many voice their opinion that learners of
primary
Add an article
the primary
show examples
age group must be taught
with taking
Change preposition
to take
show examples
care of pets or domesticate animals and
growing
Wrong verb form
grow
show examples
food
vegetables
Correct word choice
and vegetables
show examples
. I believe that making students learn
such
Linking Words
skills will be helpful in the future. The major advantage of knowing how to take care of crops at
early
Add an article
an early
show examples
age is that
Use synonyms
child
Correct article usage
a child
show examples
certainly develops
interest
Correct article usage
an interest
show examples
as well as
Linking Words
gain
Correct subject-verb agreement
gains
show examples
certain knowledge about
Correct article usage
the agriculture
show examples
agriculture
Replace the word
agricultural
show examples
field which
let
Wrong verb form
lets
show examples
a
child
Use synonyms
explore the field,
in addition
Linking Words
to that, when a
child
Use synonyms
grows vegetables, basically, they intend to know the importance of food when efforts as well time is invested by the
child
Use synonyms
.
Secondly
Linking Words
, if a youngster has a
pet
Use synonyms
at home they usually experience some different emotions
such
Linking Words
love
Change preposition
as love
show examples
and compassion as the pets are known for their loving nature, and even they never feel alone to explain it
further
Linking Words
, in
this
Linking Words
modern era, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
family members are busy with their life so whenever is at home they spend that valuable time with their companion which is actually their
pet
Use synonyms
,
furthermore
Linking Words
, the children learn about responsibilities as they
have
Add the particle
have to
show examples
feed their at a proper time regardless of their busy life.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there are
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
disadvantages of youngsters taking care of
the
Change the word
their
show examples
pet
Use synonyms
as well as
Linking Words
farms. The first one is some
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
individuals get allergic to the pesticides which are used in farming to keep the plants safe from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
harmful insects
as well
Linking Words
as
Correct word choice
and
show examples
sharp farming equipment might hurt
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
beginners and cause a lot of damage to their
body
Fix the agreement mistake
bodies
show examples
.
Secondly
Linking Words
, the
child
Use synonyms
might feel burdened when they have to look after a
pet
Use synonyms
,
for instance
Linking Words
, these days children are very busy with their studies and extra-curricular activities
Linking Words
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
is why
Use synonyms
child
Fix the agreement mistake
children
show examples
cannot take responsibility
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
animals
along with
Linking Words
the
Change the word
their
show examples
studies.
To conclude
Linking Words
,
personally
Add a comma
personally,
show examples
I opine that children can harm themselves with sharp tools if they practise farming,
however
Linking Words
, there are more advantages
such
Linking Words
as they get a friend and even learn the value of food by performing these activities.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
In your introduction, try to paraphrase the question more clearly and formulate a stronger thesis statement that states your position clearly.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to connect your paragraphs more fluidly. Using linking words could enhance the flow of your ideas throughout the essay.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples or evidence to support your points. For example, include a real-life example of a child benefiting from taking care of a pet or growing vegetables.
task achievement
You presented both advantages and disadvantages clearly, which shows a balanced view of the topic.
task achievement
Your points about the emotional benefits of having a pet and the responsibilities children learn are particularly insightful and relevant.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • primary children
  • grow vegetables
  • keep animals
  • advantages
  • disadvantages
  • practical skills development
  • environmental awareness
  • health benefits
  • instilling responsibility
  • learning about food production
  • time commitment
  • maintenance costs
  • safety concerns
  • curriculum constraints
  • limited resources
What to do next:
Look at other essays: