IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people think that to learn a second language well, it is necessary to live in the country where that language is spoken. What is your opinion about this?

There is an ongoing debate regarding that, few individuals believe that to study another tongue well, it is important to live in the place where that
language
Use synonyms
 is spoken. I agree with
this
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 notion and in
this
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 essay, I will explain my points and give my opinion in future paragraphs.
To begin
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 with, nowadays there is a war going on to save the
languages
Use synonyms
 every country wants that their mother tongue should be famous. To explicate, many nations who speak different
languages
Use synonyms
such
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 as French, Arabic, Chinese etc are willing to save their native speech in order to save their
languages
Use synonyms
.
For example
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, a survey conducted by the World Education Center that, it is a must for the masses to study their native
language
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 who want to study their higher education in cities where they speak their own tongue
instead
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 of English.
Thus
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, it will be helpful to understand their culture as well a native speakers will
also
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 be comfortable
moreover
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, it will be an additional skill for the people.
On the other hand
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, in every school now it is mandatory to learn another
language
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. People who want to do work in different countries are very focused on the
languages
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 it is like a competition.
Also
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, in
such
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 conditions, if individuals are they can explain their thoughts and feelings to them.
For instance
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,
according to
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 the BBC article , all the businesses are now World level. So, to impress their clients and companies' customers all the employees should know at least one foreign
language
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.
Hence
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, it will be a big progress in their businesses
as well as
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 they are taking care of others culture.
To conclude
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, In my opinion, it is very important to grasp a new
language
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due to
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 it is helpful for native speakers
as well as
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 we are able to communicate easily with them
also
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, it helps in businesses.

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coherence and cohesion
The introduction effectively states your opinion, but it could be more concise. Consider simplifying your opening sentence to directly address the prompt.
task achievement
Your paragraphs contain some relevant ideas, but make sure each point is clearly linked back to your main argument about language immersion. Sometimes the connection was not clear.
coherence and cohesion
Be careful with grammar and word choice. Some phrases are awkward or incorrect, which affects the clarity of your ideas.
task achievement
You provide some relevant examples to support your ideas, which strengthens your argument.
task achievement
The essay shows an understanding of the cultural importance of language learning, which is a good angle to explore in your writing.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • immersion
  • fluency
  • idiomatic expressions
  • cultural context
  • language acquisition
  • native speakers
  • virtual classes
  • language exchange
  • motivation
  • dedicated
  • commitment
  • real-life situations
  • accelerate
  • customs
  • slang
What to do next:
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