Some people think chlidren should focus onle on science subject at school, while ohters believe atrs are equally important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

There is no denying the fact that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

Kids

learning

Wrong verb form

learn

show examples

things

outsid

Correct your spelling

outside

school

Use synonyms

While

Linking Words

It is a commonly held belief that

childrens

Correct your spelling

children

children's

just priority at

school

Use synonyms

, there is

olso

Correct your spelling

also

agrument

Correct your spelling

argument

that arts

has

Change the verb form

have

show examples

same

Correct article usage

the same

show examples

important

Replace the word

importance

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

school

Use synonyms

This

Linking Words

essay will analyse

this

Linking Words

topic from both points of view and express my opinion. On

one

Correct article usage

the one

show examples

hand, Kids learning things is significant.

In other words

Linking Words

, focus on

Use synonyms

thier

Correct your spelling

their

hops talents.

In addition

Linking Words

, Unleash

Use synonyms

thier

Correct your spelling

their

potential.

For example

Linking Words

, they

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

go to the library and

reads

Correct subject-verb agreement

read

show examples

a new book.

One

Correct your spelling

show examples

the other hand, Few people believe

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

children must focus on science

subject

Fix the agreement mistake

subjects

show examples

school

Use synonyms

It is

also

Linking Words

possible to say that. Stubents only stady in class.

Moreover

Linking Words

, They

are focus

Change the verb form

are focused

are focusing

show examples

Use synonyms

thier

Correct your spelling

their

homework or what

Use synonyms

thier stady

Correct your spelling

they study

For instance

Linking Words

, The children do not pay attention

Change preposition

show examples

science

subject

Fix the agreement mistake

subjects

show examples

Correct your spelling

outside

outsid

Correct your spelling

outside

Use synonyms

school

Change preposition

of school

show examples

In conclusion, there are no easy answers to

this

Linking Words

question . On balance,

however

Linking Words

, I tend to think

that Is

Linking Words

really significant because the children must unleash

Use synonyms

thier

Correct your spelling

their

hobbies.

yalblwy703Thu May 15 2025

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task achievement

Improve the introduction by clearly stating the topic and outlining your opinion more directly. Make sure to spell 'children' and 'arts' correctly.

task achievement

Develop your main points more comprehensively. Provide clearer examples and explanations to support each viewpoint.

coherence and cohesion

Enhance coherence by using transitional phrases to connect ideas better. Avoid repetitive sentence structure and vary expressions.

coherence and cohesion

Check grammar, spelling, and punctuation more carefully before finalizing your essay, as there are several inaccuracies that could lead to misunderstandings.

task achievement

Good effort in attempting to discuss both views, which is essential for the task.

task achievement

Providing examples is a positive aspect; however, they need to be clearer and more relevant.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
27
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

167 words

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Some people think chlidren should focus onle on science subject at school, while ohters believe atrs are equally important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

in some culture the parents arrange marriage for their children but in others people choose their own marriage partner. What are the advantages and disadvantages of each system?

Many young people today know more about international pop or movie stars than about famous people in the history of their own country. Why is this? What can be done to increase young people's interest in famous people in the history of their country?

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Adults do less exercise nowadays. Some people thi it that people can be encouraged to live healthy lives through sporting events such as Olympics and World cups. Others think that there are better ways to encourage adults to do exercise. Discuss both views and give your opinion.