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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart and table below show the average number of children born to one woman and the average age of women when they had their 1st child in 2 countries between 1920 and 2019

The chart and table below show the average number of children born to one woman and the average age of women when they had their 1st child in 2 countries between 1920 and 2019
The line graph illustrates the average
number
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 of
children
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 in one family in the
UK
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 and
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Kasakhstan
Correct your spelling
Kazakhstan
,
while
Linking Words
 the table compares the average age when they had their first child.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is evident that women in
Use synonyms
Kasakhstan
Correct your spelling
Kazakhstan
 tend to give birth
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 their first child earlier than women in the
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Uk
Correct your spelling
UK
show examples
.
Additionally
Linking Words
, families in
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Kasakhstan
Correct your spelling
Kazakhstan
 are bigger than
these
Correct pronoun usage
those
show examples
 in the
UK
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. During the period between 1920 and 1940, the average
number
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 of
children
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 in a family
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 roughly 3.5 in
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Kasakhstan
Correct your spelling
Kazakhstan
,
whereas
Linking Words
 it was around 2-2.5 in the
UK
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. Both countries peaked
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 1960 , recording 2.5 and 4.5 for
Use synonyms
Kasakhstan
Correct your spelling
Kazakhstan
 and the
UK
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 ,respectively.
However
Linking Words
, the
number
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 of
children
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 sharply fell in both countries
,
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apply
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 and in 2019, it was approximately 2
children
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 in the
UK
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 and 3 in
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Kasakhstan
Correct your spelling
Kazakhstan
. As for the average age of giving birth, in the
UK
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, it was ranging between 26 and 27
years
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 old.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, it reached nearly 29 in the
last
Linking Words
 2 decades.
In contrast
Linking Words
, in
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Kasakhstan
Correct your spelling
Kazakhstan
, women used to have their first baby in the middle of their 23
year
Change to a plural noun
years
show examples
 but
this
Linking Words
number
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 increased over time until it reached 27
years
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years
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 old in 27
years
Use synonyms
 old in 2019.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, children, uk, kasakhstan, years with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
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