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Band 7

The environmental problems that today's world is facing are so great that there is little ordinary people can do to improve the situation. So governments and large organisation's should be responsible for reducing the amount of damage being done to the environment. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#world #people #situation #governments #organisation #amount #damage #environment
Today, more and more significant issues are facing our planet and the efforts of the general individuals are not capable of resolving those.
Hence
, the interference of the whole country's
governments
 is essential.
This
 essay will discuss the importance of that. The obstacles that are threatening our home planet now are getting out of hand. So help from
such
 bigger institutions and
governments
 is needed
due to
 the large funds that it's required to reduce the damages.
For example
, the plastic problem is considered one of the top environmental problems these days. It started with a small number of protesters trying to shadow the lights in that path and they succeeded.
However
, it needed a lot more humans to help with that and a lot of action done. And
therefore
, the whole world's
governments
 started looking and spending billions of dollars to reduce that obstacle and recycle it. Another reason why it is the biggest organisation's responsibility is that they have an effective influence on
people
 because they are followed and watched by a good amount of society.
Therefore
, if they put any problem under the light it will spread worldwide and reach a lot more
people
. In conclusion, our environment is precious to us and any effect on it will harm us all.
Hence
, I totally agree that it is a series of problems which require help from
such
 bigger
people
 like the
governments
. And that's because of the large money they can offer, and the larger influence on
people
.
Submitted by waad018 on

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task achievement
To improve your essay, aim to provide more detailed and varied examples to support your arguments. This will make your ideas more persuasive and concrete.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea and that ideas follow logically from one to the next. Use linking words and phrases to help guide the reader through your argument.
coherence cohesion
While your conclusion summarises the essay well, try to make your introduction more engaging and set a clear roadmap for what you will discuss.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps frame your argument.
task achievement
The essay addresses the question effectively, discussing the roles of both governments and large organizations.
task achievement
Your ideas are relevant to the topic and demonstrate a good understanding of the issue.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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