The charts below show the global market ratio of the three computer operating systems compared to others from 2012 to 2015.

The charts below show the global market ratio of the three computer operating systems compared to others from 2012 to 2015.
IELTS Writing Task Chart for The charts below show the global market ratio of the three computer operating systems compared to others from 2012 to 2015.
The
given
Verb problem
apply
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pie chart depicts the sales of different computer processing
systems
Use synonyms
in comparison with others between 2012 and 2015.
Overall
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, Os1 and Os2 operating
systems
Use synonyms
witnessed an increase throughout the timeframe,
whereas
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the remaining fell or remained stable over the period.
Additionally
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, despite the Os1 operating system being the highest in 2012, it was
then
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exceeded by Os1 until the end of the timeline. With regards to the revenues of operating
systems
Use synonyms
that experienced a rise. In terms of Os1, it began at exactly 20% in 2012 prior to sharply going up to 52%
at the end
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of the period.
However
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, regarding Os2 where it remained stable for the first 2 years at approximately 17% before slightly ascending to 18% along seeing a plateau until 2015. Moving on to the remaining categories where it fell. For the other operating
systems
Use synonyms
, it consistently descended from 48% to 15% throughout the time period.
Finally
Linking Words
, Os3 sales ranged from 10% to 15%, with the year 2012 and 2015 stand out the most at around 15%.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words systems, os with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "fell" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "stable" was used 2 times.
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