IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Many people choose to travel abroad to learn a foreign language instead of studying in their home town. Do the advantages of learning a new language in this way outweigh the disadvantages?

Over the
last
Linking Words
 few years, a large number of
adolesence
Correct your spelling
adolescents
adolescence
decide
Wrong verb form
decided
show examples
 to leave their own
country
Use synonyms
 in
order
Use synonyms
 to master their
language
Use synonyms
 skills and learn new
languages
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 they have the opportunity to study various
languages
Use synonyms
 in their hometown more conveniently. In my opinion, acquiring a
language
Use synonyms
 in our own
country
Use synonyms
 is a better option
due to
Linking Words
 the lack of time and focus that individuals might face in
leaving
Verb problem
living
show examples
 abroad. One of the advantages of learning a
language
Use synonyms
 by travelling to a different
country
Use synonyms
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 is the natural interaction of
language
Use synonyms
 learners with native speakers in everyday life.
This
Linking Words
 can play an effective role in
Use synonyms
language
Add an article
the language
show examples
 learning process
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 since students will get involved with unexpected situations, so they can challenge their
language
Use synonyms
 skills.
Also
Linking Words
, they will hear
natural
Correct article usage
a natural
show examples
 way of communicating with native speakers which can help them to speak like a native.
In addition
Linking Words
, some countries with unpopular
languages
Use synonyms
 have adopted some policies in
order
Use synonyms
 to advertise their
language
Use synonyms
 and culture,
such
Linking Words
 as offering free
language
Use synonyms
 courses in
order
Use synonyms
 to attract
people
Use synonyms
 from all walks of
world
Add an article
the world
show examples
 to learn their local
language
Use synonyms
.
Thus
Linking Words
, if
language
Use synonyms
 learners are lucky enough to get accepted
in
Change preposition
into
show examples
 those programs, they do not need to pay for their classes.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, I believe learning a new
language
Use synonyms
 is not a good reason to endure the hardships of living abroad.
Firstly
Linking Words
, when
people
Use synonyms
 are living independently in a foreign
country
Use synonyms
 without any support
of
Change preposition
from
show examples
 their family, they will face
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of time for all of their daily tasks including their studies. Because they are the ones who
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 in charge of
house holds
Correct your spelling
households
show examples
such
Linking Words
 as shopping and cleaning and
also
Linking Words
 they should look for a job in
order
Use synonyms
 to make money for their living expenses,
so
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
these
language
Use synonyms
 learners definitely won't be able to devote sufficient time to studying.
While
Linking Words
people
Use synonyms
 who are learning in their home town might not face these difficulties, since they don't have that much responsibility or they have their family by themselves to support them.
In addition
Linking Words
, I think living in a foreign
country
Use synonyms
 can affect the quality of
people
Use synonyms
's concentration which will be a preventing issue for their success in
language
Use synonyms
 learning.
In other words
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 living far away from their
beloved
Correct your spelling
loved
show examples
 ones or friends, are not able to focus on their goals because they are experiencing a sense of missing and lack of spiritual support. In conclusion, learning a new
language
Use synonyms
 in a different
country
Use synonyms
 can have some beneficial aspects, but, these advantages are not fully enough to outweigh the disadvantages. The abundance of responsibilities and mental conflicts are just
few
Change the article
a few
show examples
 hardships that prevent individuals from learning new
languages
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

grammar
Some grammatical errors affect clarity, such as 'adolesence' which should be 'adolescents,' and 'is' in 'the ones who is in charge' which should be 'are.' Pay attention to subject-verb agreement.
content
While the arguments presented are relevant, more specific examples would strengthen your points, especially regarding the unique experiences learning abroad can offer.
cohesion
To enhance coherence, consider using more linking words and phrases to connect ideas within paragraphs and make transitions smoother.
clarity
Rephrase sentences with complex structures for clarity. For example, 'these language learners definitely won't be able' could be simplified to 'these learners may struggle to dedicate time to their studies.'
content
The essay presents a clear argument for preferring language study in one's home country, which demonstrates critical thinking.
content
The use of specific details, such as free language courses, showcases an understanding of the opportunities that exist for language learners abroad.
structure
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your perspective, reinforcing your main argument clearly.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Linguistic immersion
  • Cultural integration
  • International network
  • Conversational proficiency
  • Financial burden
  • Homesickness
  • Pedagogical differences
  • Culture shock
What to do next:
Look at other essays: