IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

It is better for young people to get advice from old people than young ones. Do you agree or disagree?

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Write on this topic →
Introduction
I will
duscus
Correct your spelling
discuss
discus
 in
this
Linking Words
 essay
it
Correct word choice
whether it
show examples
 is better for
younguih
Correct your spelling
young
people
Use synonyms
 to get
advice
Use synonyms
 from old
pepole
Correct your spelling
people
?.
Change the punctuation
.
show examples
 Or the age
is does
Change the verb form
does
show examples
 not
Correct your spelling
matter
show examples
mater
Correct your spelling
matter
show examples
,
Body paragraph 1
first in my opinion I
aoogree
Correct your spelling
agree
 with that it is better to get
advice
Use synonyms
 from
oloder
Correct your spelling
older
people
Use synonyms
, because they
are usually have
Change the verb form
usually have
show examples
 more
experence
Correct your spelling
experience
 than young
people
Use synonyms
 in life and
there
Replace the word
their
show examples
knowlege
Correct your spelling
knowledge
 is better. 
For
Linking Words
example
Add a comma
example,
show examples
 if I want
an
Remove the article
advice
a piece of advice
a bit of advice
show examples
advice
Use synonyms
to get
Change preposition
about getting
show examples
in gro eoioat
Replace the word
into a good
show examples
 job I prefer to ask
sjome one that
Correct your spelling
someone who is
 old enough
an-d
Correct your spelling
and
work
Wrong verb form
has worked
show examples
 hard and
try
Wrong verb form
has tried
show examples
 too many jobs,
on
Correct your spelling
or
show examples
 ask
somjeone
Correct your spelling
someone
 thjat young and only
join
Wrong verb form
joined
show examples
 one great job because it
is maybe
Wrong verb form
may
show examples
a good luck
Remove the article
good luck
a bit of good luck
a stroke of good luck
a piece of good luck
show examples
 but the older pepole has more than one experence and the chance that it is goodji luck. to join all
Linking Words
this
Change the determiner
these
show examples
 jobs almost 0%.
Body paragraph 2
But some
people
Use synonyms
 say that it is better to get
ado9jvice
Correct your spelling
advice
 from someone
wnho
Correct your spelling
who
 is
yjoung
Correct your spelling
young
 because he
find
Change the verb form
finds
show examples
 the way faster
thebn
Correct your spelling
then
than
 older
people
Use synonyms
 and
thay
Correct your spelling
they
 say
forp
Correct your spelling
for
 example get
advice
Use synonyms
 from someone
now
Correct pronoun usage
who now
show examples
study
Correct subject-verb agreement
studies
show examples
 better
Linking Words
then
Replace the word
than
show examples
 someone who is
finsh studing
Correct your spelling
finished studying
before
Change preposition
in
show examples
 a few years because things change year by year. and you
h.ave
Correct your spelling
have
 to get
ajdvice
Correct your spelling
advice
 from
who
Correct pronoun usage
those who
show examples
 do the thing now
nnpot
Correct your spelling
not
 from
who
Correct pronoun usage
those who
show examples
try
Wrong verb form
tried
show examples
 it before years and because every
bthing
Correct your spelling
thing
bathing
cjhange
Correct your spelling
change
changed
with
Change preposition
over
show examples
 years.
Conclusion
to
counclode
Correct your spelling
conclude
this
Linking Words
 there are a lot of opinions and
idea
Fix the agreement mistake
ideas
show examples
  .s but there are
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
older
people
Use synonyms
do
Correct pronoun usage
who do
show examples
 not know how to give
Correct your spelling
advice
advices a.nd
Correct your spelling
advice and
 maybe give you
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 wrong
advice
Use synonyms
 in life and there are young
people
Use synonyms
know
Correct pronoun usage
who know
show examples
 how to give
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Correct your spelling
advice
advices
Change the wording
advice
pieces of advice
bits of advice
show examples

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

language
Improve your spelling and grammar to make your ideas clearer and easier to understand. Pay attention to word forms and punctuation as well.
structure
Ensure that your introduction clearly states your position and the main points you'll discuss in your essay.
coherence
Try to provide clearer transitions between your points to help guide the reader through your argument logically.
task response
You presented a clear opinion on the topic, showing that you understand the question.
task response
You gave examples to support your points, which enhances the strength of your argument.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: