IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think if students are afraid of the teacher it is better. Others see that having a friendly relations is better. what do you think? Discus both points and give us opinion.

There is no doubt that
Use synonyms
teacher
Fix the agreement mistake
teachers
show examples
 play a vital role in the life of
students
Use synonyms
. From them, kids learn the basic rules of life,
such
Linking Words
 as social and communication skills. Some people
believes
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believe
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 that there should be strong relationships between
trainer
Fix the agreement mistake
trainers
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 and trainees.
However
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, on the side,
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
 feel that teachers should be strict. Let’s discuss
both
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 viewpoints before reaching any decision. The first and foremost reason,
on
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is on
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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behalf of those who are in
the
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apply
show examples
favour of better relationships.
To begin
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 with, educators are very close to the pupils, as
students
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 spend half of the time in school with the guidance
under
Change preposition
of
show examples
 their
teacher
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. They learn from them about
the
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apply
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basic things like
as
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apply
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how to talk, how to behave and how to manage
the
Change the word
their
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 time and other
such
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 basic things. It's important for
both
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 to have a strong bond so children can share their academic and social issues with them.
This
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 helps juniors grow up and respect their educators.
As a result
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, there is a positive and wonderful environment in the class. Moving
further
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, the best bond leads to the best result,
due to
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 the open communication and supportive learning environment in the class, where
students
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 feel safe can be the better future for
both
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.
Apart from
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this
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,
student
Add an article
the student
a student
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 can easily admit their mistake as they
do
Verb problem
are
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 not
be
Verb problem
apply
show examples
afraid
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the
teacher
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, they know that if they
did
Wrong verb form
do
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 anything wrong and share
with
Correct pronoun usage
it with
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 the professor
than
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then
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 they
would
Wrong verb form
will
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 understand and come up with the right decision.
On the other hand
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, if teachers are strict in the classroom, it can cause
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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bad mental and emotional
effect
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effects
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 on
children’s
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children
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.
For example
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,
students
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 can make
mistake
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mistakes
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,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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be
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are
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 afraid of judgment, study
pressure
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under pressure
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 and they can lose
the
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apply
show examples
self confidence
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self-confidence
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. After the whole analysis, I think, there should be a better relationship between
both
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, as
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
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teacher
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 can help the
students
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 to enhance their
thought
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thoughts
show examples
 about all
aspect
Fix the agreement mistake
aspects
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 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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life.
However
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, at the
same
Add a comma
same,
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 they should be
little
Correct article usage
a little
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 strict to
make
Verb problem
get
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 a better grip on the class.

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task achievement
Expand your introduction by including a clearer thesis statement that outlines your opinion on the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph clearly links back to your main argument, reinforcing how they relate to the overall discussion.
coherence and cohesion
Use a wider range of vocabulary to express ideas more clearly and avoid repetition of simple phrases.
coherence and cohesion
Revise grammatical structures for clarity, especially in sentences that are overly complicated or contain errors.
task achievement
Your essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the topic and presents both perspectives effectively.
task achievement
You effectively emphasize the importance of a supportive educational environment, which is an important point in your discussion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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