IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Trying to save endangered animal species from extinction is a waste of valuable resources. Do you agree or disagree? (Huseyn)

It is widely acknowledged that many animal
species
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 are becoming endangered
due to
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 various human activities.
While
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 some people argue that investing in efforts to protect these
species
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 is a waste of valuable resources, I firmly disagree. In my opinion, conserving endangered
animals
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 is crucial for maintaining a sustainable global
ecosystem
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. One of the primary
cause
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causes
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 is the importance of
animals
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 for a
balanceed
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balanced
ecosystem
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. I strongly believe that every animal has
own
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its own
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 necessity for the environment and disappearing
of
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apply
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them
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apply
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can significantly damage
to
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apply
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the
ecosystem
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 of the world.
Thus
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, some associations and governments should preserve endangered
animals
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 from extinction.
For
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example
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example,
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 some wild
animals
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 like lions or tigers contribute to
keep
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keeping
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 the number of herbivores at
the
Correct article usage
apply
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normal levels by preying
them
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on them
show examples
.
That is
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 to say,
extincting
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extinction
extracting
 these kinds of wild
animals
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 can lead to
significant
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a significant
the significant
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 increase in the number of herbivores and it can be harmful and can alter the
ecosystem
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 negatively. Another aspect of that argument is that the earth is not only humans’ home, it is
also
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 a habitat for all
species
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 of
animals
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. It is evident that people have a significant role in
vanishing
Correct article usage
the vanishing
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 of endangered
animals
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 because businesses and governments destroy the environment by felling trees and damaging to habitats
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animals
Change preposition
of animals
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 to get more money and build new
building
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buildings
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.
Therefore
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, it is a moral debt and, individuals and associations Should save endangered
animals
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 from extinction. In conclusion,
although
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 protecting endangered
animals
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 requires considerable resources, it is a crucial effort.
This
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 is because every
species
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 plays a vital role in maintaining ecological balance, and humans have a moral responsibility to correct the damage they have caused.

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coherence and cohesion
Ensure that your main points are clearly defined and developed in a logical order. Each paragraph should focus on a singular main idea that is linked back to your thesis.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples and explanations for your claims to strengthen your arguments. This will make your response more comprehensive.
language
Pay attention to spelling and grammatical accuracy; addressing minor errors can enhance clarity and professionalism of your writing.
task achievement
The introduction clearly states your viewpoint, which is essential for an argumentative essay.
task achievement
You've made a strong moral appeal about humanity's responsibility to protect endangered species, which adds depth to your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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