Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar Do you agree or disagree

There is no denying the fact that
sugar
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is one of the most common ingredients for cooking and drinking.
While
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it is a commonly held belief that
many
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apply
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health and heart comes with increases in the level of
sugar
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. There is an argument that opposite it. In my opinion, I consider that
sugar
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causes more problems than any disease in the world.
To begin
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with, the idea of having more
sugar
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than normal is wrong. It is
also
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possible to say that, one common death that happened
last
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year was because of heart attack and
also
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increased significantly with levels caused by
this
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problem.
In addition
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, the government can provide various options.
For example
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, fruits have a natural
sugar
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that can provide the human body with the maximum that
he
Correct pronoun usage
it
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needs. Another point to consider, an increase in the price will help society more than the company.
In other words
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, the company will need ways to sell their products with low levels of
sugar
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to minimize the loss of manufactured and that will the community to find products that help to make them healthier and fitter.
Moreover
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, schools and parents play a big role in helping children
to
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apply
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understand the causes that come with
sugar
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In conclusion, despite people having different views, I believe that people need to be more knowledgeable about the issue that comes with high levels of
sugar
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and try to find various options to solve
this
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issue. I lost someone because of
this
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problem and that opened my mind to be more knowledgeable in
this
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area.

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coherence
Try to provide clearer and more structured arguments in your paragraphs to enhance the logical flow of your ideas. Each paragraph should ideally focus on a single main point that supports your overall argument.
task
You have presented a clear opinion on the topic, which is important for Task Achievement.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • health problems
  • manufactured food and drink products
  • sugary products
  • excessive sugar consumption
  • discourage
  • promote
  • healthier choices
  • reduce
  • increased taxes
  • fund
  • health education
  • prevention programs
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