IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

You have been working in a company for the last two years. Recently, your computer in the office has started giving some problems and it is affecting your work performance. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter, describe the problem explain how it is affecting your work write what you want him to do regarding it You do NOT need to write any addresses. Begin your letter as follows:

Dear Sir/Madam, I am writing
this
Linking Words
 letter to
informing
Change the verb form
inform
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 you about the recurring problems with your office computer, Specifying the nature of these issues
such
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 as slow performance,
software
Correct word choice
and software
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 glitches. These technical difficulties are directly impacting my productivity and ability to meet deadlines, perhaps affecting the quality of my work or causing
Add an article
a delay
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delay
Fix the agreement mistake
delays
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 in
projrct
Correct your spelling
project
 completion. I would request you for some possible solutions
such
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 as upgrading the current computer, replacing it with a new one, or
conculting
Correct your spelling
consulting
 with the IT department for a thorough checkup and repair.
Moreover
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, the issue must
be resolves
Change the verb form
be resolved
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 as soon as possible to avoid
further
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 work disruption and assure to
maintaining
Wrong verb form
maintain
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 high work standards despite the current challenges.
Lastly
Linking Words
, I should
requesting
Change the verb form
request
be requesting
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 you to discuss the matter
further
Linking Words
 and offer to provide any additional information or assistance needed to resolve the computer issues. I would like to hear from you soon! Yours faithfully, Adam

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coherence and cohesion
Consider restructuring the letter for better flow, perhaps by clearly separating the problem description, impact, and requested actions into distinct paragraphs.
task achievement
Ensure to maintain a formal tone throughout, particularly in the request section, by avoiding phrases like 'Moreover' which may conflate ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Eliminate minor errors such as 'informing you' should be 'inform you', 'specifying' could be better integrated into the sentence, and 'conculting' should be corrected to 'consulting'.
task achievement
Your letter has a clear purpose and conveys urgency regarding the computer issues, which is great.
coherence and cohesion
The letter follows a logical progression from describing the issue to its impact and potential solutions, which is a positive aspect of coherence and cohesion.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Technical difficulties
  • Productivity
  • Deadlines
  • Software glitches
  • Upgrading
  • Hardware malfunction
  • Work disruption
  • Commitment
  • Swift action
  • Consulting
  • Thorough checkup
  • Resolving
What to do next:
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