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Writing Samples
Band 7

The graph below shows the number of books bought from different sources in one European country since 2000 with a projection for 2012. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the number of books bought from different sources in one European country since 2000 with a projection for 2012. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The line graph illustrates the figure of how many times individuals bought books from dissimilar sources in a specific country over a 12-year period from 2000 to 2012.
Overall
Linking Words
, the most striking feature is that bookstores had the highest amount of total
sales
Use synonyms
 in 2000.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, people who prefer to buy a
book
Use synonyms
 on the
Internet
Use synonyms
 had the least number of
sales
Use synonyms
. In 2000, the total
sales
Use synonyms
 of the
book
Use synonyms
 reached a peak at almost 170
million
Use synonyms
 compared to other categories.
while
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
book
Use synonyms
sales
Use synonyms
 from
Use synonyms
Internet
Correct article usage
the Internet
show examples
 reached the bottom with approximately 110
million
Use synonyms
. Between 2000 and 2003, both supermarket and
internet
Use synonyms
 categories had a general upward trend with a 10 per cent increase for each one.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the
sales
Use synonyms
 of bookstores had decreased by 10
million
Use synonyms
 from 170
million
Use synonyms
 and nearly below 160. In 2009, all sources of
book
Use synonyms
sales
Use synonyms
 were
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the same level
according to
Linking Words
 the data given with approximately 145
million
Use synonyms
. after that
sales
Use synonyms
 of bookshops went down
while
Linking Words
 both the
internet
Use synonyms
 and supermarkets experienced a huge inclination in
sales
Use synonyms
 in 2012

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words sales, book, internet, million with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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