IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information in the graphs below.

The graph illustrates data about the
number
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 of
deaths
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 and budgets for medical research in
Someland
Correct your spelling
Homeland
. In summary, big funds in the study of certain illnesses contribute to cutting the
number
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 of people who die from the diseases. The highest disease counts
caused
Add a missing verb
were caused
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 by TB with the lowest funding in the study.
In contrast
Linking Words
, AIDS gets most of the funding and the rate of death is quite low, with Leprosy having the lowest
number
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 of
deaths
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. The first chart depicts that the most contributing cause of
Use synonyms
deaths
Fix the agreement mistake
death
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 in Someland is TB. The second contributor is
Diarrhoea
Correct your spelling
diarrhoea
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, followed by Malaria and three other diseases. In the context of research funding, AIDS has the highest budget, around 175 million, with a quite low
number
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 of
deaths
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. The second and third big funds are for Leprosy and Tropical Diseases, about 75 million, followed by Diarrhea and Malaria, approximately 50 million. The
least
Correct your spelling
last
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 budget was for TB, and we can see the impact of the cut on the
number
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 of people dying was low.

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coherence and cohesion
The report could benefit from a clearer introduction that outlines what will be discussed and a more explicit conclusion to summarize the findings.
task achievement
In the task achievement category, ensure that all key data points from the graphs are addressed to enhance the completeness of the response.
task achievement
Consider providing more specific examples or numerical data to support your points, particularly regarding the funding and death rates.
content
The report provides a clear summary connecting funding to the number of deaths, which demonstrates an understanding of the relationship between the two topics.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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