Some people think watching TV and films makes children more creative. Others think that it can actually lower their creativity. Discuss both views and gove your opinion

Some

individual

Fix the agreement mistake

individuals

show examples

confuse

Wrong verb form

are confused

show examples

Change preposition

about wether

show examples

wether

Correct your spelling

whether

show examples

let

Wrong verb form

letting

show examples

their

Use synonyms

chilldren

Correct your spelling

children

watch

Use synonyms

Correct your spelling

show examples

and

films

Use synonyms

if it is can

has

Wrong verb form

have

show examples

advantage

Fix the agreement mistake

advantages

show examples

for

chiildren

Correct your spelling

children

and

makes

Correct subject-verb agreement

make

show examples

them more creative or

Correct word choice

if it

show examples

will affect them by

lower

Replace the word

lowering

show examples

their creativity.In my opinion ,

Change the capitalization

show examples

firmly disagree with

this

Linking Words

statement

becaus

Correct your spelling

because

Change the capitalization

show examples

believe

Use synonyms

chilldren

Correct your spelling

children

will be more creative

Change preposition

show examples

practical

activity

Fix the agreement mistake

activities

show examples

rather than watching

films

Use synonyms

Linking Words

However

Add a comma

However,

show examples

films

Use synonyms

and

Use synonyms

Correct your spelling

show examples

will

effct

Correct your spelling

effect

affect

their brain and growth by just standing

front

Change preposition

in front

show examples

Use synonyms

Correct article usage

the tv

show examples

without doing something in real life.

According to

Linking Words

the above statement.

Change the capitalization

show examples

believe children will be more creative by

let

Change the verb form

letting

show examples

them

doing

Wrong verb form

show examples

practical things

such

Linking Words

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

swiming

Correct your spelling

swimming

, drawing,

Correct word choice

and visting

show examples

visting

Correct your spelling

visiting

some places

relvent

Correct your spelling

relevant

for

Change preposition

show examples

Use synonyms

chilldren

Correct your spelling

children

educat

Correct your spelling

education

This

Linking Words

will support them to improve because

all

Correct determiner usage

apply

show examples

their body works not only

eyes

Correct article usage

the eyes

show examples

This

Linking Words

will develop them to be social and

comunicate

Correct your spelling

communicate

with the

socity

Correct your spelling

society

For

Linking Words

Example

Add a comma

Example,

show examples

some parents dont include their

Use synonyms

chilldren

Correct your spelling

children

Change preposition

show examples

kindergarten

wich

Correct your spelling

which

show examples

is important for

Use synonyms

chilldren

Correct your spelling

children

to improve their skills and education before school .As

Correct article usage

a result

show examples

result

Add a comma

result,

show examples

it will be hard

Change preposition

for

show examples

these

Use synonyms

chilldren

Correct your spelling

children

to adapt to

learn

Wrong verb form

learning

show examples

or being around

others

Correct quantifier usage

other

show examples

chilldrens .

Additionally

Linking Words

. Standing

front

Change preposition

in front

show examples

Use synonyms

Add an article

the tv

a tv

show examples

all the time without any action

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

will affect their body before their brain .

Linking Words

However

Add a comma

However,

show examples

some

Use synonyms

Correct your spelling

show examples

shows are not able to

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

educat

Correct your spelling

educate

the

Use synonyms

chilldren

Correct your spelling

children

about the

basic

Fix the agreement mistake

basics

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

life . Some

Use synonyms

Correct your spelling

show examples

shows work

by contrast

Linking Words

and affect the

Use synonyms

chilldren

Correct your spelling

children

breain

Correct your spelling

brain

Linking Words

Also

Add a comma

Also,

show examples

Use synonyms

chilldren

Correct your spelling

children

are too young to understand if

Linking Words

this

Correct determiner usage

these

show examples

Use synonyms

Correct your spelling

show examples

shows include some wrong

behavor

Correct your spelling

behaviour

For instance

Linking Words

,Dora

Use synonyms

Correct your spelling

show examples

shows ,

this

Linking Words

show

makes

Correct subject-verb agreement

make

show examples

Use synonyms

chilldren

Correct your spelling

children

feel stupid because

this

Linking Words

Use synonyms

Correct your spelling

show examples

shows display information and

picture

Change the form of the verb

pictures

show examples

that will

mak

Correct your spelling

make

show examples

Use synonyms

chilldren

Correct your spelling

children

confusing

Replace the word

confused

show examples

and not be able to

foucing

Correct your spelling

focus

. In conclusion ,

Use synonyms

Correct your spelling

show examples

shows or

display

Verb problem

apply

show examples

films

Use synonyms

chilldren

Correct your spelling

children

have more disadvantages than advantages

Correct your spelling

Children

chilldren

Use synonyms

or too young to let their lives front

Use synonyms

Correct your spelling

show examples

This

Linking Words

will

destroyed

Change the verb form

destroy

show examples

their creativity . In my opinion ,

Change the capitalization

show examples

believe

Use synonyms

chilldren

Correct your spelling

children

will be more creative if they

practices

Change the verb form

practice

show examples

practical things . .

namk2901Sun May 18 2025

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task achievement

Your essay presents a clear opinion, which is good. However, the argument could be strengthened by providing more detailed examples to support your points. Try to elaborate on how practical activities specifically enhance creativity.

coherence and cohesion

Make sure to work on the organization of your ideas. Using clear paragraphs for different points will help improve coherence. For example, start a new paragraph when introducing a new idea or argument.

coherence and cohesion

Be mindful of grammar and spelling. Check for small typos, such as 'chilldren' instead of 'children', and sentence structure to improve clarity and make your writing more polished.

task achievement

You have a clear opinion on the topic and successfully state it in your introduction, which is essential for an opinion essay.

task achievement

You attempt to discuss the impact of TV on children from both sides, which shows a balanced approach to the topic.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
86
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

320 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

imagination
innovation
cognitive development
creative faculties
educational content
storytelling
narrative structure
passive consumption
overstimulation
active playtime
realistic scenarios
screen time
media exposure
holistic development

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