Some people think watching TV and films makes children more creative. Others think that it can actually lower their creativity. Discuss both views and gove your opinion

Some
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
confuse
Wrong verb form
are confused
show examples
Change preposition
about wether
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wether
Correct your spelling
whether
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let
Wrong verb form
letting
show examples
their
Use synonyms
chilldren
Correct your spelling
children
watch
Use synonyms
tv
Correct your spelling
TV
show examples
and
films
Use synonyms
if it is can
has
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
advantage
Fix the agreement mistake
advantages
show examples
for
chiildren
Correct your spelling
children
and
makes
Correct subject-verb agreement
make
show examples
them more creative or
it
Correct word choice
if it
show examples
will affect them by
lower
Replace the word
lowering
show examples
their creativity.In my opinion ,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
firmly disagree with
this
Linking Words
statement
becaus
Correct your spelling
because
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
believe
Use synonyms
chilldren
Correct your spelling
children
will be more creative
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
practical
activity
Fix the agreement mistake
activities
show examples
rather than watching
films
Use synonyms
.
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
However,
show examples
films
Use synonyms
and
Use synonyms
tv
Correct your spelling
TV
show examples
will
effct
Correct your spelling
effect
affect
their brain and growth by just standing
front
Change preposition
in front
show examples
of
Use synonyms
tv
Correct article usage
the tv
show examples
without doing something in real life.
According to
Linking Words
the above statement.
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
believe children will be more creative by
let
Change the verb form
letting
show examples
them
doing
Wrong verb form
do
show examples
practical things
such
Linking Words
as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
swiming
Correct your spelling
swimming
, drawing,
Correct word choice
and visting
show examples
visting
Correct your spelling
visiting
some places
relvent
Correct your spelling
relevant
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
Use synonyms
chilldren
Correct your spelling
children
educat
Correct your spelling
education
.
This
Linking Words
will support them to improve because
all
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
their body works not only
eyes
Correct article usage
the eyes
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
will develop them to be social and
comunicate
Correct your spelling
communicate
with the
socity
Correct your spelling
society
.
For
Linking Words
Example
Add a comma
Example,
show examples
some parents dont include their
Use synonyms
chilldren
Correct your spelling
children
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
kindergarten
wich
Correct your spelling
which
show examples
is important for
Use synonyms
chilldren
Correct your spelling
children
to improve their skills and education before school .As
Correct article usage
a result
show examples
result
Add a comma
result,
show examples
it will be hard
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
these
Use synonyms
chilldren
Correct your spelling
children
to adapt to
learn
Wrong verb form
learning
show examples
or being around
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
chilldrens .
Additionally
Linking Words
. Standing
front
Change preposition
in front
show examples
of
Use synonyms
tv
Add an article
the tv
a tv
show examples
all the time without any action
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
will affect their body before their brain .
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
However,
show examples
some
Use synonyms
tv
Correct your spelling
TV
show examples
shows are not able to
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
educat
Correct your spelling
educate
the
Use synonyms
chilldren
Correct your spelling
children
about the
basic
Fix the agreement mistake
basics
show examples
of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
life . Some
Use synonyms
tv
Correct your spelling
TV
show examples
shows work
by contrast
Linking Words
and affect the
Use synonyms
chilldren
Correct your spelling
children
breain
Correct your spelling
brain
.
Linking Words
Also
Add a comma
Also,
show examples
Use synonyms
chilldren
Correct your spelling
children
are too young to understand if
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
Use synonyms
tv
Correct your spelling
TV
show examples
shows include some wrong
behavor
Correct your spelling
behaviour
.
For instance
Linking Words
,Dora
Use synonyms
tv
Correct your spelling
TV
show examples
shows ,
this
Linking Words
show
makes
Correct subject-verb agreement
make
show examples
Use synonyms
chilldren
Correct your spelling
children
feel stupid because
this
Linking Words
Use synonyms
tv
Correct your spelling
TV
show examples
shows display information and
picture
Change the form of the verb
pictures
show examples
that will
mak
Correct your spelling
make
show examples
Use synonyms
chilldren
Correct your spelling
children
confusing
Replace the word
confused
show examples
and not be able to
foucing
Correct your spelling
focus
. In conclusion ,
Use synonyms
tv
Correct your spelling
TV
show examples
shows or
display
Verb problem
apply
show examples
films
Use synonyms
to
Use synonyms
chilldren
Correct your spelling
children
have more disadvantages than advantages
.
Correct your spelling
Children
chilldren
Use synonyms
or too young to let their lives front
Use synonyms
tv
Correct your spelling
TV
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
will
destroyed
Change the verb form
destroy
show examples
their creativity . In my opinion ,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
believe
Use synonyms
chilldren
Correct your spelling
children
will be more creative if they
practices
Change the verb form
practice
show examples
practical things . .

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task achievement
Your essay presents a clear opinion, which is good. However, the argument could be strengthened by providing more detailed examples to support your points. Try to elaborate on how practical activities specifically enhance creativity.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to work on the organization of your ideas. Using clear paragraphs for different points will help improve coherence. For example, start a new paragraph when introducing a new idea or argument.
coherence and cohesion
Be mindful of grammar and spelling. Check for small typos, such as 'chilldren' instead of 'children', and sentence structure to improve clarity and make your writing more polished.
task achievement
You have a clear opinion on the topic and successfully state it in your introduction, which is essential for an opinion essay.
task achievement
You attempt to discuss the impact of TV on children from both sides, which shows a balanced approach to the topic.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
Topic Vocabulary:
  • imagination
  • innovation
  • cognitive development
  • creative faculties
  • educational content
  • storytelling
  • narrative structure
  • passive consumption
  • overstimulation
  • active playtime
  • realistic scenarios
  • screen time
  • media exposure
  • holistic development
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