Although many people value their public parks, this space could be better used for other purposes such as residental areas for ever growing population or to develop business and boost economies. To want extend do you agree or disagree with this?

While
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a plethora of people love their public
parks
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, other constructions like residential areas for an increasing number of individuals or enhancing business would be the better way of using the territories.
This
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essay states that building extra facilities in
favor
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favour
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of green places can cause overpopulation in urban parts and reduce places for resting
as well as
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lead to biodiversity issues.
To begin
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with,
whereas
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it is essential to control the
quantity
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number
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of humans in order to provide all with accommodations, they can be set up in suburban areas with low density.
In other words
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,
this
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modification will help not only supply
persons
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people
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with living but
also
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prevent city
centers
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centres
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from being overcrowded.
As a result
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, life in all parts of the country will be active.
For example
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, in Azerbaijan, there is a lot of traffic and queues because all popular shops and banks are located in the capital, and if the government constructs these in other cities, it will be easier to live in the state.
Furthermore
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,
parks
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are crucial for residents
for spending
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to spend
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time.
That is
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, they are really important for having a great time outdoors and enjoying the beauty of nature.
Additionally
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,
parks
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are paramount for preserving trees since they provide persons with oxygen essential for their existence.
For instance
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, in Norway, individuals are prone to have at least one park for each building.
To conclude
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, it is not advisable to replace
parks
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with other buildings as it will raise problems both in terms of people's density and the environment.

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task achievement
Your introduction provides a good overview of your stance, but it could be clearer in explicitly stating your position. Be more direct about whether you fully agree or disagree with the statement.
task achievement
While your arguments are relevant, they could be more thoroughly developed. Each point should be clearly linked back to the main argument, and additional supporting details would strengthen your points.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph starts with a clear topic sentence that indicates what the paragraph will focus on. This will improve the logical structure of your essay and help the reader follow your argument more easily.
coherence and cohesion
Try to use a wider range of linking words and phrases to improve the flow between sentences and ideas. This will help enhance cohesion and make your essay more readable.
positive
Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which helps in understanding your argument.
positive
You provide valid points regarding the importance of parks and the need for residential areas, showing an ability to engage with multiple aspects of the topic.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Topic Vocabulary:
  • public parks
  • residential areas
  • economic development
  • urban planning
  • community interaction
  • ecological balance
  • biodiversity
  • property values
  • green spaces
  • mental well-being
  • physical well-being
  • social hub
  • cultural activities
  • tourism
  • urban residents
  • creative planning
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