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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In many countries, the number of people suffering from stress is increasing. What do you think are the causes of this problem and what measures could be taken to tackle it? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

There are many different kinds of
stress
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,
people
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 nowadays get confronted with. In our modern society, we have to deal with various forms of
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stress causing
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stress-causing
show examples
situations
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.
Those
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That situation
Those situations
show examples
situation
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 can be caused by individuals or individual experiences, or, coming from another approach, by
society
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society's
show examples
 effects and community expectations. Our first analysis will focus on the number one
stress
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-creator, our jobs.
People
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 mostly get stressed, when some things go wrong at their work in the office. Another psychological aspect, we have to look at, is the relationship to your employer or your boss. If
such
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person
Correct article usage
a person
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, who is the one, that can promote or degrade you "by snipping his fingers" (at least, some
people
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 could think that way) is mad at you, could throw
into
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you into
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situations
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, that can lead to mental illness, if you are not able to find a relaxing hobby, that could neutralize your bad feelings. Another big cause of
stress
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 comes with
society
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societal
show examples
 expectations. When your family or your parents expect,
that
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apply
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you
find
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to find
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 a job, build a house, get married and raise some children and one of those tasks
seem
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seems
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 not
rechable
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reachable
, at least in your current
situation
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, that could be very
stressfull
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stressful
 in
a
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the
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 long term. that
psachological
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psychological
 threat could be enforced by friends around you, that are following
those expectation
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that expectation
those expectations
show examples
, like they are on a
race-track
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race track
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, driving on the ideal lane. Some
further
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stress generating
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stress-generating
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 but less
occuring
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occurring
 impacts can be caused by life-changing happenings,
such
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 as accidents in your family or breaking marriages.
People
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 find it very hard, to deal with
such
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situations
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. All those described
phaenomenas
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phenomena
phaenomena
 are mostly
appering
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appearing
 in highly developed countries and major cities
,
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apply
show examples
 because the concentration of
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stress causing
Add a hyphen
stress-causing
show examples
 effects
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 very high in these areas and places. A possible way to counter those impacts could be, to find working
possibilites
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possibilities
, to neutralize those effects. When your boss is
allways
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always
 toxic, you should try to find a better job with an emphatic employer. you could
also
Linking Words
 talk to
colleages
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colleagues
 about your problems with the boss, maybe they feel the same. That could already help go through hard
situations
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, by sticking together. When your family is expecting you to get married early and to
get
Verb problem
have
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 some children, as your older sister did, you should talk to your ancestors. maybe a transparent but serious conversation about the expectations of your parents and your specific plans for the future could destress the whole
situation
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. All in all, there should
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
allways
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always
 be a chance, to decrease the
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stress-level
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stress
show examples
, you are confronted with. Often,
people
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 should just catch the
oppportunity
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opportunity
 to change their current
situation
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, by confronting the
stress
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 creators.

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task achievement
Ensure that your introduction clearly states the main causes and potential solutions to stress. This will set a strong foundation for your essay.
coherence and cohesion
Consider grouping related ideas together more clearly to improve the logical flow of your argument. This will strengthen the coherence of your essay.
task achievement
Aim to provide more specific examples or experiences to support your points. This will enhance the overall quality of your arguments and make your ideas more persuasive.
content
You have identified some significant sources of stress in modern society, such as job pressure and societal expectations. This demonstrates critical thinking about the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Work-life balance
  • Burnout
  • Digital detox
  • Mindfulness
  • Coping mechanisms
  • Cognitive-behavioral therapy
  • Financial stability
  • Public awareness campaigns
  • Resilience training
  • Support networks
What to do next:
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