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Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatifactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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Introduction
People
Use synonyms
 have different views about whether
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
material
employees
Use synonyms
 in
nowsday
Correct your spelling
nowadays
nowaday
Newsday
. The unsatisfactory job or bad salary,
this
Linking Words
 issue has
contracting
Correct your spelling
contrasting
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 views. The job situation
impact
Change the verb form
impacts
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 their
financial
Replace the word
finances
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. There
Linking Words
also
Add a missing verb
is also
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argument
Add an article
the argument
an argument
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 that could reflect a negative effect. The essay will discuss both points of
views
Fix the agreement mistake
view
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 and express my opinion.
Body paragraph 1
On the first
hand
Add a comma
hand,
show examples
 it might be said that some
people
Use synonyms
 will Unacceptable the bad jobs. The main reason for
the
Correct your spelling
this
show examples
belive
Correct your spelling
belief
show examples
 is that
employees
Use synonyms
 will not be able to
Add a missing verb
be productivity
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productivity
Replace the word
productive
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their
Change preposition
in their
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 own jobs
such
Linking Words
 as
company
Add an article
a company
the company
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 or in
government
Correct article usage
a government
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 office without any great salary
due to
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 how can they help
you
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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their
family
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family's
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 financial income another important point. How can the
employees
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 build their life
with out
Correct your spelling
without
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 any
supportive
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support
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.
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?
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Therefore
Linking Words
people
Use synonyms
 have
this
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 opinion towards
this
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 issue
Body paragraph 2
On
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 hand
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 degree will be
Correct your spelling
necessary
necssary
Correct your spelling
necessary
 to build
opportunities
Use synonyms
 in the future .other
people
Use synonyms
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
Correct your spelling
believe
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belive
Correct your spelling
believe
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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education
most
Add a missing verb
is most
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 important to have a
highly
Change the word
high
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 financial .instence when learning to
development
Replace the word
develop
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 skills will have
opportunities
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 .thw
employees
Use synonyms
 must improve their skills .
while
Linking Words
 those who have
certificate
Correct article usage
a certificate
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 have
highly
Change the word
high
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 quality live various types of skills makes
opportunities
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thus
Linking Words
 foe many points
employees
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 support
this
Linking Words
 nation
Conclusion
In
conclusion
Add a comma
conclusion,
show examples
 in
Correct your spelling
argumentative
argumentive
agrumentive
Correct article usage
an agrumentive
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 topic with different opinions from my
perspective
Add a comma
perspective,
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i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
Correct your spelling
believe
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belive
Correct your spelling
believe
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 those who studied
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
Correct your spelling
universities
universitys
Correct your spelling
universities
 will have more
opportunities
Use synonyms
 for now or future

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coherence and cohesion
Improve the clarity and organization of your ideas. Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and supporting details.
task achievement
Make sure to clearly state your opinions and provide supporting arguments for each viewpoint discussed, to strengthen your task response.
task achievement
You have made an effort to discuss both views on the topic, which is essential in an argumentative essay.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Accepting
  • Bad situation
  • Unsatisfactory job
  • Shortage of money
  • Complacency
  • Lack of motivation
  • Improvement
  • Personal growth
  • Development
  • Temporary relief
  • Long-term dissatisfaction
  • Effort
  • Determination
  • Proactive
  • Mindset
  • Appropriate
  • Changed
  • Opportunities
  • Fulfillment
  • Balancing
  • Well-being
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