IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

“Prevention is better than cure”. Researching and treating disease is too costly so it would be better to invest in preventative measures. To what extent do you agree.

Its
Replace the word
It's
It is
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 better to avoid the problem rather than
finding
Wrong verb form
find
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 a solution for it as medical procedures are highly expensive so the great option is to spend money on things which will keep you far from the illness.
This
Linking Words
 is a great statement and
i
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I
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 am on its side to a high
extend
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extent
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. To start with, one should always take care of themselves physically, mentally
as well as
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 emotionally
as
Correct word choice
apply
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if we are not healthy in any of these
then
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 the illness will eventually come behind us. It is extremely important to understand that prioritizing yourself in every aspect is mandatory like
eat
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eating
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healthy
Add an article
a healthy
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 diet, workout,
do
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doing
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 things which you love and
live
Wrong verb form
living
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 the way you want to
nonethless
Correct your spelling
nonetheless
 what impact will it cause on
others
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others'
other's
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 lives
.
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?
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 All these
helps
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help
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 people to decrease stress
level
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levels
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, leading to a healthy lifestyle.
Additionally
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, know what your body needs like regular checkups for all age groups are
must
Correct your spelling
most
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 needed.
Now-a-days
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Nowadays
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, even toddlers
are lacking
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lack
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 vitamins, calcium,
iron
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and iron
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 in their bodies which can be detrimental if not cured at
a
Correct article usage
the
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 proper time.
Moreover
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, so many skin cancer cases are arising
due to
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endulging
Correct your spelling
indulging
 UV rays. To get away from
this
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, sunscreen is a
must have
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must-have
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 and now some brands launched UV protection clothes too, so that
this
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 disease can be stopped.
Also
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, people
sould
Correct your spelling
should
could
 get more
knowlegde
Correct your spelling
knowledge
 about these preventions through
campaings
Correct your spelling
campaigns
,
advertisements
Correct word choice
and advertisements
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, by adding it
in
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to
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educational
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the educational
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 system. The more people will know about
this
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, The more it can be prevented.
To sum up
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,
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 deeply
beleive
Correct your spelling
believe
 that prevention is
the
Correct article usage
a
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 great option despite getting the treatment. As, in
this
Linking Words
 economy, sometimes it is almost impossible to get away from the disease
due to
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 its
longivity
Correct your spelling
longevity
 and excessive expenditure. So the safest option is to help yourself to stay away from the illness by living a healthy lifestyle.

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coherence and cohesion
Strengthen the logical flow between ideas in your paragraphs, ensuring each point clearly supports your central argument. Use transitional phrases to guide the reader through your argument.
task achievement
Include more specific examples or statistics to support your claims about the importance of preventative measures and their effectiveness. This will enhance the depth of your argument.
task achievement
Ensure that you clearly define key terms in your introduction to give context, such as what you mean by 'preventative measures.'
coherence and cohesion
Pay attention to spelling and grammatical errors (e.g., 'sould' should be 'should', 'knowlegde' should be 'knowledge', 'endeulging' should be 'indulging', etc.) as they can detract from your overall clarity and professionalism.
task achievement
Your essay clearly expresses your opinion on the topic and maintains a consistent stance throughout, which is essential for task achievement.
task achievement
You present several relevant points regarding preventive measures, which indicates good understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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