IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

With the increased global demand for oil and gas, undiscovered areas of the world should be opened up to access more resources. To what extent do you agree?

Many people believe that to meet
arising
Correct your spelling
rising
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 appeal for
oil
Use synonyms
 and
gas
Use synonyms
, new areas of the World must discovered and opened to the inhabitants. Undoubtedly, it is a great idea in order to provide
the
Correct article usage
apply
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resources
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 to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
individuals. But I partially agree with the statement and I will elaborate my opinion in the upcoming paragraphs. At
first,
Linking Words
it is an innovative thought to
full filler
Correct your spelling
fulfil
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 the increased global demand both for
oil
Use synonyms
 and
gas
Use synonyms
. It will provide
the
Change the article
a
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 large amount of the given
resources
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 if
a
Correct article usage
apply
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various isolated
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
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portions of the earth are opened up. One can certainly use
oil
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 and
gas
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 freely.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it can
also
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 favour
community
Correct article usage
the community
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 by reducing the cost
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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of
the
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apply
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natural
resources
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 if they are available easily. There will be easy access to the
largest scale
Add a hyphen
largest-scale
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 industries as well and
gas
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are
Change the verb form
is
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 one of the basic
resources
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 they need for production in factories.
Secondly
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, IFFCO the drawback for
these scenario
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this scenario
these scenarios
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are enlisted
Wrong verb form
is
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,
there
Correct word choice
that there
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 are numbers on
count
Add an article
the count
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. The primary disadvantage to the solution is that it will affect the natural biodiversity of the planet.
Linking Words
Further
Rephrase
Furthermore
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more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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it will require massive
amount
Fix the agreement mistake
amounts
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 of funds and other means to
explorer
Replace the word
explore
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such
Linking Words
 areas on
earth
Capitalize word
Earth
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 and these discovered parts are hard to reach.
Additionally
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, the voice use of the
resources
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 in hand, is the most important have
it
Correct pronoun usage
that
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,
need
Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
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 to be opted
in
Change preposition
for in
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 today's era. Humans
master
Verb problem
must
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 reduce
there a depends
Replace the word
their dependence
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 on
oil
Use synonyms
 and
gas
Use synonyms
 it can be done if other alternatives are used
instead
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 of wasting
resources
Use synonyms
 from nature. In general, it can
we
Correct your spelling
be
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 mentioned that the idea
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 opening some discovered areas is not completely valid until and unless we have other substitutional methods which are more easy to act upon, which majorly include the required change in human activities.

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Task Achievement
Enhance the clarity and development of your ideas. Make sure each paragraph directly supports your main argument and elaborates on your points.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use clearer topic sentences for each paragraph to guide the reader and improve the overall flow of your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure grammatical accuracy, particularly in verb tenses and subject-verb agreement, to improve readability and professionalism.
Task Achievement
You demonstrate a good understanding of the topic and present both sides of the argument.
Task Achievement
Your intention to discuss the drawbacks of resource exploration adds depth to your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • global demand
  • finite resources
  • energy consumption
  • exploiting
  • untouched ecosystems
  • carbon emissions
  • climate change
  • renewable energy
  • sustainable energy solutions
  • geopolitical consequences
  • territorial disputes
  • dependency
What to do next:
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