Giving International aid to the poorer countries becomes more and more popular in international society. Some people tend to claim the aid from developed countries was harmful to the developing countries. However I tend to completely disagree this viewpoint.

Giving International
aid
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to
the
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apply
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poorer
countries
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becomes
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is becoming
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more and more popular in international society. Some people tend to claim
the
Correct determiner usage
that
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aid
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from developed
countries
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is harmful to
the
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apply
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developing
countries
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.
Linking Words
However
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However,
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I tend to completely disagree
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this
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with this
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viewpoint.
Firstly
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, the international
aid
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is beneficial to the economic development of the poor
countries
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. To be specific, it can foster the economy by improving the employment rate.
This
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is because most
aids
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aid
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from international society usually involves some construction projects, which need a lot of local residents to be engineers or
labors
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labourers
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.
For example
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, during the
aid
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project, developed
countries
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usually will build some hospitals and factories for the undeveloped
countries
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and they will hire a lot of local people to do some physical
works
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work
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, which can lower the unemployment rate and increase the income of local workers.
Therefore
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,
aid
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projects have
positive
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a positive
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impact on the local job market.
Secondly
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,
aid
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programs in poorer
countries
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can foster
the
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apply
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education
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development. To be specific, it can improve the per educational level in developing
countries
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,
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apply
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because
aid
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programs often have some
education
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projects.
For example
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, when the UN operated
a
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an
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international
aid
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in south-east Asia
countries
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, it
build
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built
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many primary schools for the local residents, which can improve the
per
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per-education
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education
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level of the local children.
In contrast
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, if those
countries
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did not receive any international
aids
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aid
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, the children in poor
countries
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may lose a lot of
education
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opportunities.
Therefore
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, international
aid
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has a positive impact on poorer
countries
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education
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system
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systems
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. In conclusion, for the
reason
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reasons
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mentioned above, I believe that
the
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apply
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international
aid
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has a huge positive impact on undeveloped
countries
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.

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task achievement
Make sure to use a clearer thesis statement that directly addresses the question at the end of your introduction.
coherence and cohesion
Work on varying your sentence structure for better flow and coherence.
task achievement
Ensure that all examples provided are fully developed and clearly linked to the main argument you're making.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to use connectors to improve the flow between your points and paragraphs, such as 'Furthermore' or 'In addition'.
task achievement
You have clearly stated your position against the claim that international aid is harmful, which provides a strong foundation for your argument.
task achievement
Your examples related to job creation and education development are relevant and support your points effectively.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general
What to do next:
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