IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social prblems as well as practical problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statements?

Many
people
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 are
the
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of the
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 opinion that living in a foreign country without knowing the
language
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 can cause social and practical problems. I know from my own experience that
this
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 is only true if you are not willing to face your
language
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 barriers and keep to yourself. When
i
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I
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 went to Australia a few years ago, my
english
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English
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 was mediocre at best and
i
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I
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 had a hard
time
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 understanding the
people
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 around me.
This
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 was supported by my two
german
Capitalize word
German
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 friends which
i
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I
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 could count on to help me take over difficult situations.
However
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, when they left
i
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I
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 was on my own, in a state where
i
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I
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 had trouble talking to
people
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.
Thus
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, I was left with two choices,
eighter
Correct your spelling
either
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 keep to myself and hope the
time
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 goes by fast or learn the
language
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. Thankfully,
i
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I
show examples
 chose the second option and just talked to
people
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 with the little
english
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English
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 knowledge I had. It appeared to me, natives
dont
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don't
 judge bad
language
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 and are happy to help your process. After a short amount of
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time
Add a comma
time,
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 I made many friends and my problems at the
time
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 had nothing to do with
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language
Add an article
the language
a language
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 barrier.
Nevertheless
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, studying a new
language
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 is hard in the beginning and can demotivate someone to keep learning, as it can be a very tedious process. And in the unlikely event of
people
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 not caring to aid you, social problems can emerge quickly. In conclusion, going to a different country is mostly a state of mind and will only become a problem if one isn´t willing to get out of their shell and
trying
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try
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 the best they can. In my case, it was the best decision to stay in
australia
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Australia
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 and meet so many different
people
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i
Change the capitalization
I
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 could have a conversation with
due to
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 my motivation to learn new vocabulary.

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task achievement
Consider elaborating more on how social and practical problems can arise when living in a foreign country, even for those who try to learn the language. This will give your argument more depth and address the issue from multiple angles.
coherence and cohesion
Try to structure your paragraphs more clearly, perhaps with clear topic sentences. This will guide the reader through your essay more effectively and improve the overall flow of your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
A few grammatical and spelling errors (such as 'eighter' which should be 'either' and 'i' should be capitalized) can be distracting. Review your work for these small inaccuracies before finalizing it.
task achievement
You provided a personal experience that effectively illustrates your point and makes your argument relatable and engaging.
task achievement
Your conclusion succinctly summarizes your main point and reinforces your perspective, demonstrating a clear understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • proficiency
  • miscommunications
  • social isolation
  • underemployment
  • language barrier
  • cultural misunderstandings
  • practical issues
  • everyday situations
  • fluency
  • parent-teacher meetings
  • accessing services
  • cultural faux pas
  • frustrations
  • legal aid
  • serious repercussions
What to do next:
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