IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

2. Some people think that when many imported films or TV programmes are shown in a country, it can improve the country’s culture. Others feel that it is better for a country to make and broadcast its own movies and TV shows. Discuss both sides and give your own view.

People have different
view
Fix the agreement mistake
views
show examples
 when it comes to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
TV shows , dramas or
movies
Use synonyms
 .
However
Linking Words
 , with the advanced technology foreign dramas or shows can be watched from the place we reside in . But people have both negative and positive views when it
come's
Correct your spelling
comes
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 to the
Use synonyms
country
Change noun form
country's
show examples
culture
Use synonyms
.I will elucidate , both the views and will give my opinion. Supporting
me
Change the pronoun
my
show examples
 agreement on the fact that it can develop the
country
Use synonyms
's
culture
Use synonyms
 when one learns about another
country
Use synonyms
 through
movies
Use synonyms
.To cite an example , In
Change the capitalization
India
show examples
india
Add a comma
india,
show examples
chinese
Change the capitalization
Chinese
show examples
 and
korean
Change the capitalization
Korean
show examples
 dramas are popular these days through which
young
Correct article usage
the young
show examples
 generation is learning the form of respect that
chinese
Change the capitalization
Chinese
show examples
 and
korean
Change the capitalization
Korean
show examples
 people have .
Secondly
Linking Words
 ,
Inter-cultural
Correct your spelling
Intercultural
show examples
 weddings are supported .
For instance
Linking Words
 , many individuals from
indian
Change the capitalization
Indian
show examples
 are getting married in
korea
Change the capitalization
Korea
show examples
 or
china
Capitalize word
China
show examples
.
Explaning some
Verb problem
Some
show examples
 of the points
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
against
this
Linking Words
 statement
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 that not all films or programmes
are having
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
 positive effects . To
beign
Correct your spelling
begin
 with , the shows /
movies
Use synonyms
 from the
america
Correct your spelling
American
 industry
promotes
Correct subject-verb agreement
promote
show examples
 nudity and sexual scenes which
degenrates
Correct your spelling
degenerate
 the
mind
Fix the agreement mistake
minds
show examples
 of
younger
Add an article
the younger
a younger
show examples
 generation .
For example
Linking Words
 , in
india
Change the capitalization
India
show examples
 when children watch these types of
movies
Use synonyms
there
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
mind
Fix the agreement mistake
minds
show examples
 get degraded and it
result
Change the verb form
results
show examples
 in degenrating the
culture
Use synonyms
 of
Use synonyms
country
Add an article
the country
show examples
 where we see everyone with respect . To recapitulate , I think imported films/
movies
Use synonyms
 can
improves
Change the verb form
improve
show examples
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
a country
show examples
country
Change noun form
country's
show examples
culture
Use synonyms
 as we get to know about other
nations
Change noun form
nations'
nation's
show examples
 morals
as well as
Linking Words
 values /

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task achievement
Make sure to clearly state your opinion in the introduction, as this helps guide your reader.
coherence and cohesion
Use more transition words to improve the flow between ideas and paragraphs.
task achievement
Ensure that all arguments are balanced and well-explained; consider adding more supporting details for each view.
task achievement
You provided relevant examples to support your points regarding the impact of foreign shows on domestic culture.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • cultural understanding
  • production values
  • globalization
  • cultural identity
  • homogenization
  • local talent
  • entertainment industry
  • cultural heritage
  • cultural exchange
  • diversity
  • content quotas
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