IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe that younger generations can learn a lot about how to be good members of society from older generations. Others think it is better for younger people to get advice on how to be a good citizen from their peers. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In
todays
Change noun form
today's
show examples
 day and age, being
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 ideal citizen has become very essential part of
society
Use synonyms
. Some individuals
believes
Change the verb form
believe
show examples
 that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
youth
Add an article
the youth
a youth
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 of a
society
Use synonyms
 should ask elders to teach them certain skills and manners to fit in to
society
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
,
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
 say they should learn from their surrounding.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss both views and personal
opinion
Fix the agreement mistake
opinions
show examples
.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
rising
Correct article usage
the rising
show examples
generation
Use synonyms
 has so much to learn and gain through and from
society
Use synonyms
.
Besides
Linking Words
 school and coaching
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
, there is no better option than seniors and their guidance, who has plenty of experience.
For instance
Linking Words
,
these
Correct determiner usage
this
show examples
elder
Correct your spelling
older
show examples
generation
Use synonyms
 has gone through many ups and downs in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
Use synonyms
, throughout their life,
also
Linking Words
 they have
Rephrase
also learn
show examples
learn
Change the verb form
learned
show examples
, how to be a perfect member
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
society
Use synonyms
 with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
decades of experience.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, if teenagers want to master civic sense and skills they should get in touch
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
 their grandparents or anyone from the past
generation
Use synonyms
.
Secondly
Linking Words
, being a good citizen of
society
Use synonyms
 is not an easy task, as it
require
Change the verb form
requires
show examples
 great parenting and
humble
Correct article usage
a humble
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 neighbourhood.
Consequently
Linking Words
, I could not
get
Verb problem
apply
show examples
agree with the given statement about getting advice on how to be
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 ideal member of
society
Use synonyms
 from
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 same age group, as chances are very unlikely.
However
Linking Words
, the learning window should be open regardless of age difference,
therefore
Linking Words
, basic civic skills and humbleness are necessary to survive and grow
while
Linking Words
 being in a
society
Use synonyms
.
To sum up
Linking Words
,
society
Use synonyms
want
Correct subject-verb agreement
wants
show examples
next
Correct article usage
the next
show examples
generation
Use synonyms
 to be successful in their particular field same as a person,
its
Correct your spelling
it's
show examples
 highly possible with the help of seniors.

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task achievement
Make sure to clearly state your opinion in the introduction and conclusion to guide the reader.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words to connect your ideas better. Words like 'firstly,' 'however,' and 'in conclusion' can help.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that your sentences are clear and grammatically correct. This will improve understanding.
task achievement
The essay addresses both views, which is important for a balanced discussion.
task achievement
You have made a good effort to provide examples and reasons to support your points.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • wealth of experience
  • historical context
  • ethical guidance
  • life skills
  • contemporary issues
  • relatable experiences
  • societal norms
  • traditional values
  • societal cohesion
  • innovative views
  • progressive views
  • intergenerational learning
  • mutual respect
  • camaraderie
  • societal unity
  • individualistic societies
  • bridging the gap
What to do next:
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