IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

One of the major problems that today’s government faces is creating enough satisfactory housing for their increasing populations whilst still trying to protect the environment. How can this be achieved? Discuss and give your opinion.

One of the major challenges facing today’s governments is providing sufficient, satisfactory housing for their growing populations
while
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 simultaneously protecting the environment. Nowadays, all
city
Use synonyms
 architects working on housing plans face challenges in ensuring the safety of the environment. They strive to keep it unpolluted and undamaged as much as possible,
while
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also
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 finding the most efficient ways to house people, making it as comfortable as possible. The parts of the
city
Use synonyms
 that suffer from
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
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 of environmental protection are usually the
centre
Fix the agreement mistake
centres
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 or areas that are mostly locked up inside the
city
Use synonyms
. To address
this
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, governments try to fix it by making new
city
Use synonyms
 plans and building new residential areas in the countryside. In the US and sometimes Canada, there’s a popular housing plan called isolated neighbourhoods. These are areas that are locked up as one neighbourhood, usually to get in there, you can’t just drive straight to the highway. You have to drive all the way to the entrance of that neighbourhood, which sometimes
may be
Correct your spelling
maybe
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 a couple of miles away. These neighbourhoods provide lots of houses, meaning hundreds if not thousands of people are concentrated
in
Change preposition
at
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 a particular distance from the
city
Use synonyms
 centre.
This
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 is when architects came up with
a
Correct article usage
the
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 big idea of building huge shopping centres where all the residents from all the surrounding neighbourhoods
will
Wrong verb form
would
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 go to buy food, DIY stuff, clothes, and other life necessities. In my opinion, the housing problem remains a significant issue for all countries, demanding more attention and investment to resolve.

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Task Achievement
Add a clear opinion in your introduction and conclusion.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use clear paragraphs to show different ideas.
Task Achievement
Give more examples to support your main points.
Task Achievement
You identified the problem of housing and environmental protection.
Task Achievement
You provided some details about housing plans in the US and Canada.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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