IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

More and more people are migrating to cities in search of a better life, but city life can be extremely difficult. What are the reasons for this movement? Explain some of the difficulties of living in a city. Discuss both sides and give your opinion

Some individuals are of the opinion that moving to urban
areas
Use synonyms
 is better in search of an improved quality of
life
Use synonyms
.
While
Linking Words
 others say that
Use synonyms
city
Correct article usage
the city
show examples
 lifestyle can be extremely demanding.
This
Linking Words
 essay argues that
although
Linking Words
 rural
areas
Use synonyms
 are free from pollution and provide much greenery,
cities
Use synonyms
 have more developed infrastructure and social amenities
such
Linking Words
 as accommodation, job opportunities, healthcare, and transportation. On the one hand, one advantage of living in the countryside is that
such
Linking Words
areas
Use synonyms
 are free from pollution because there are many trees and views of nature in comparison to
cities
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 that have many factories and industries which emit a lot of toxic substances
to
Change preposition
into
show examples
 the environment.
This
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also
Linking Words
 leads to a healthier population because there is less inhalation of these poisonous smoke into the airways which reduces the frequency of diseases.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, people in villages have access to fresh farm products with
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
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 preservatives and additives unlike farm produce in the
city
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 that are heavily processed
due to
Linking Words
 the excessive use of fertilizers.
For example
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,
according to
Linking Words
 statistics, in Nigeria, it is recorded that people who reside in villages have a longer
Use synonyms
life-span
Correct your spelling
life span
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 compared to those who live in urban communities.
However
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, I believe that
life
Use synonyms
 in the
city
Use synonyms
 is much better compared to the
surburbs
Correct your spelling
suburbs
 because there are more public services.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, others opine that
life
Use synonyms
 in the
city
Use synonyms
 is much better because there is more access to better healthcare facilities, transportation networks, employment opportunities, and accommodation.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, governments of
cities
Use synonyms
 have the financial resources to provide well-developed infrastructure and improve the standard of living for their citizens which impacts their lives directly compared to rural
areas
Use synonyms
 that have limited financial capacity to provide good standard of
lives
Wrong verb form
living
show examples
 for their residents.
For instance
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, in Kenya, there has been a noticeable rise in the migration of residents from rural to urban
areas
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.
Hence
Linking Words
, I believe that it is better to live in urban communities compared to rural
areas
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 that
provides
Change the verb form
provide
show examples
better
Add an article
a better
show examples
 standard of living. In conclusion, some are of the opinion that migrating to
cities
Use synonyms
 and residing in urban
areas
Use synonyms
 is extremely tough.
However
Linking Words
, I believe that
life
Use synonyms
 in the
city
Use synonyms
 is much
plausible
Correct quantifier usage
more plausible
show examples
 because of easier access to social amenities and improved standard of
life
Use synonyms
 compared to rural
areas
Use synonyms
 where there is no civilisation.

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task achievement
While your introduction clearly states your position, it could better outline the points you will discuss in the essay.
coherence
Your arguments are well structured, but some ideas would benefit from clearer linking phrases to enhance the flow. Consider using transitions more effectively between ideas.
task achievement
Use specific examples to make your points more compelling. Adding more data or anecdotes could strengthen your arguments further.
task achievement
You provide a balanced discussion of both sides of the argument which is a strong point of your essay.
coherence
Your vocabulary is varied, and you demonstrate a good command of complex sentences.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Migrating
  • Urbanization
  • Employment prospects
  • Quality of life
  • Infrastructure
  • Healthcare facilities
  • Cultural diversity
  • Socioeconomic status
  • Cost of living
  • Commute
  • Housing market
  • Social amenities
  • Standard of living
  • Overcrowding
  • Public services
What to do next:
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