Some people say that no one should work after the age of 65years,others say that they should continue the work as long as they want.Discuss both views and give your opinion.

The debate about whether individuals should continue working after the age of 65 , the various factors financial,
health
Correct word choice
and health
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.
Soical
Correct your spelling
Social
community
.
Correct your spelling
This
this
Linking Words
essay
to explain
Change the verb form
explains
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and
discuss
Correct subject-verb agreement
discusses
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the views and I will explain my opinion. On the
first
Correct word choice
other
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hand
Add a comma
hand,
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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older people have many reasons
to do
Verb problem
apply
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not
leave
Fix the infinitive
to leave
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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work instance
firstly
Linking Words
financial stability , mental health, experience

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coherence
Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and supports it with details. Connecting ideas logically will help enhance the flow of your essay.
task response
Try to provide more specific examples to support your arguments. This will help demonstrate your points more clearly and strengthen your essay.
Task Achievement
You introduced the topic and stated your intention to discuss both views and your opinion, which is a good start.
Coherence and Cohesion
You touched on various factors such as financial stability and mental health, showcasing some complex ideas.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general
What to do next:
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