IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that students should study in their own city. However, many students prefer to study far away from their home. Do the advantages of studying away from home outweigh the disadvantages?

In modern society, many young
people
Use synonyms
 choose to attend schools that are far away from their hometowns,
while
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 others argue that they should stay close to their parents. In
this
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 essay, I will discuss the benefits and drawbacks of studying away from home and I firmly believe that the pros are more than cons.
Initially
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,
as
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
young
people
Use synonyms
 study in
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
different countries (different countries) and step outside their comfort zones. They can gain valuable life experience from doing part-time jobs and learn how to become
self-sufficiency
Replace the word
self-sufficient
show examples
 (self-sufficient).
For instance
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, they learn to manage their time effectively and balance their academic responsibilities with work in order to support themselves.
Moreover
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, different universities often specialize in different subjects. If students want to major in art, they should consider studying in a place
that is
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 renowned for its art education,
such
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 as France.
This
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 not only broadens their horizons but
also
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 allows them to connect with peers who share similar interests. Based on
such
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 compelling evidence, it appears that studying away from home should be encouraged and it is a good way for young
people
Use synonyms
 to build their character and
enables
Correct subject-verb agreement
enable
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 them to pursue higher academic qualifications.
However
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, housing prices have skyrocketed in recent years, and rental deposits have
also
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 increased significantly.
Therefore
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, if university students apply
colleges
Change preposition
to colleges
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 in their hometowns, it can be a great way to save money. The saved expenses can
then
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 be used to develop personal interest.
In addition
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, when they suffer from academic pressure,
family
Add an article
the family
a family
show examples
 can always provide them
emotional
Change preposition
with emotional
show examples
 support, encouraging them and
give
Wrong verb form
giving
show examples
 them an oasis of calm to reduce the pressure. These indicate that studying in a different place indeed brings some negative effects, but technology has kept developing,
Use synonyms
people
Correct word choice
and people
show examples
 can use video
call
Fix the agreement mistake
calls
show examples
 to release their homesickness now.
To sum up
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, despite the fact that
attend to
Wrong verb form
attending
show examples
 a school which is far away from home has
blessing
Correct article usage
a blessing
show examples
 and curse, the long-term advantages still outweigh the
disadvantage
Fix the agreement mistake
disadvantages
show examples
. Facing these difficulties can help young
people
Use synonyms
 grow into more mature and independent individuals in the future.

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task achievement
Make sure to clearly outline the essay structure in the introduction and ensure that all points made in the body paragraphs directly support your thesis statement.
coherence and cohesion
Try to use more varied cohesive devices to link ideas between sentences and paragraphs. This will enhance the flow of your essay.
coherence and cohesion
Be cautious with minor errors that can distract from your overall message (e.g., grammatical inaccuracies). Proofreading can be helpful in catching these mistakes.
task achievement
Your essay presents a clear argument stating a preference for studying away from home and supports it well with relevant examples.
coherence and cohesion
You have addressed both sides of the argument, which shows a balanced approach to the topic.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Diverse cultures
  • Perspectives
  • Immerse
  • Horizons
  • Adaptability
  • Independence
  • Self-reliance
  • Career opportunities
  • Networking
  • Homesickness
  • Cultural shock
  • Financial strain
  • Internship
  • Professional development
  • Adjustment
What to do next:
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