Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

Following modernization, the
food
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industry is improving to adapt to the
expectation
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expectations
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of consumers. The reality confronts us is the amount of processed
food
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, which contains high sugar and causes consequences to
people
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’s well-being. Some
people
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argue that we should raise the price of sweet foods to encourage consumers to decrease their sugar intake. I believe the alter can affect
people
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's habits. On the one hand, increasing the cost of products can decrease
the
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apply
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people
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's purchase of processed
food
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, especially when they compare processed products as being more expensive rather than the raw
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
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.
For example
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,
people
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are likely to save property, they would not want to buy or
expense
Verb problem
spend
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the
food
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which is highly priced
while
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having poor nutrients.
Furthermore
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, the choices of ingredients in products would be considered carefully by each business owner.
On the other hand
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,
due to
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making foodstuffs more expensive, there is a decrease in diseases
such
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as heart attack, obesity, diabetes,etc. Nowadays, civilization is facing urgent health issues and circumstances, the gist started from their lifestyle and habits in the convenience societies.
Therefore
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, the way we prevent consuming junk
food
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is helping many individuals out there.
For instance
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, advertising
the
Correct article usage
a
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healthy and balanced lifestyle
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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becoming trending,
many
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and many
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situations which have been obesity are becoming healthy and extending motivation for others to avoid processed
food
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and change their habits immediately. In a nutshell, the sooner
people
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are aware
how
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of how
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crucial their well-being is, the higher quantity in their lives they deserve. I believe
the
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apply
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innovation in the
food
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industry can have huge impacts on societies.

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task achievement
Make sure to clearly state your main idea in the introduction. Use simple sentences to make it clear.
coherence cohesion
Try to use linking words like 'however' or 'furthermore' to connect your ideas better. This helps the flow of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Make sure each paragraph focuses on one main point and gives clear examples.
task achievement
You have identified the main problem of high sugar intake and proposed a solution, which is a good start.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body, and conclusion.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • health problems
  • manufactured food and drink products
  • sugary products
  • excessive sugar consumption
  • discourage
  • promote
  • healthier choices
  • reduce
  • increased taxes
  • fund
  • health education
  • prevention programs
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