IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social center in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social center in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The line graph illustrates the changes in the number of
participants
Use synonyms
 engaged in five different activities at a social
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 in Melbourne, Australia, over a 20-year period from 2000 to 2020.
Overall
Linking Words
, the film club remained consistently popular throughout the period,
while
Linking Words
 table tennis saw a significant increase in participation.
In contrast
Linking Words
, amateur dramatics experienced a steady decline. Participation in martial arts fluctuated,
whereas
Linking Words
 musical performances saw gradual growth. In 2000, the film club had the highest number of
participants
Use synonyms
 at around 65, maintaining a relatively stable trend with a slight dip in 2010, before rising again to just under 70 by 2020. Martial arts started as the second most popular activity
at
Change preposition
with
show examples
 40
participants
Use synonyms
 in 2000 but declined to 30 by 2005.
Although
Linking Words
 it recovered slightly in 2010, the figure remained around the same level in 2020. Amateur dramatics began at 25
participants
Use synonyms
 in 2000, peaked slightly in 2005, but
then
Linking Words
 steadily declined to just above 10 by 2020, making it the least popular activity by the end of the period.
Conversely
Linking Words
, table tennis experienced a dramatic rise. Starting at around 15
participants
Use synonyms
 in 2000, it remained steady until 2010,
then
Linking Words
 surged to become the second most popular activity with approximately 55
participants
Use synonyms
 in 2020. Musical performances, which had no
participants
Use synonyms
 in 2000 and 2005, grew steadily from 2010 onwards, reaching around 18
participants
Use synonyms
 by 2020, overtaking amateur dramatics.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 69%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words participants with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "decline" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "slight" was used 3 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: