The charts below show the percentage of male and female students of different age groups who studied in Australia for full- time and part- time education in 2006.

The charts below show the percentage of male and female students of different age groups who studied in Australia for full- time and part- time education in 2006.
IELTS Writing Task Chart for The charts below show the percentage of male and female students of different age groups who studied in Australia for full- time and part- time education in 2006.
The bar charts provide data regarding the proportion of
par-time
Correct your spelling
part-time
show examples
and full-time students
at
Change preposition
of
show examples
different ages who studied in Australia in 2006, broken down by
sexes
Fix the agreement mistake
sex
show examples
.
It is clear that
Linking Words
by far the highest percentage of them were at the age of 20 to 24,
whereas
Linking Words
for those aged 25 or more, the figures were lowest.
Overall
Linking Words
,
much
Fix the agreement mistake
many
show examples
more students of both genders chose part-time education. Focusing first
at
Change preposition
on
show examples
those aged from 15 to 19 and 20 to 24, nearly 15% and 40% of males and females studied part-time, respectively. Regarding full-time students, there were fewer than 10% of those at the age of 15 to 19,
whereas
Linking Words
for those from 20 to 24, the figure was nearly 13%. As for the remaining age groups, 8% of men and women aged 25 to 29 studied part-time, which was the same for females preferring full-time studies.
However
Linking Words
, for males, the figure was 2% lower. Among men and women over 30 years old, there were from 6 to 8 per cent and 10 to 12 per cent of them
preferring
Wrong verb form
preferred
show examples
part-time and full-time education.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "whereas".
Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: