Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programs to what extent do you have or disagree?

There exists a widely-held perception that participation in volunteer activities should be included in the syllabus of high
school
Use synonyms
as one of the mandatory
tasks
Use synonyms
.
While
Linking Words
the proposal seems rational, from my personal perspective, it can only be benevolent if
students
Use synonyms
' academic performance
is not deteriorated
Change to the active voice
does not deteriorate
has not deteriorated
show examples
. Proponents of integrating
community
Use synonyms
services
Use synonyms
into education cite various reasons to support their stance. Putting
community
Use synonyms
services
Use synonyms
as a high
school
Use synonyms
program can be extremely beneficial in terms of shaping children’s characters suited to ethics and morality.
This
Linking Words
activity can foster a sense of responsibility from a young age, promoting personal growth and development.A
well rounded
Add a hyphen
well-rounded
show examples
educational approach including moral education can lead to
development
Add an article
the development
show examples
of well-adjusted individuals who contribute positively to society. What is more important, those liabilities evoke a sense of cooperation and communication among young people, boosting their vital skills like leadership and enthusiasm,and undeniably, the motivation which is given by doing social
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
is irreplaceable.
Thus
Linking Words
, not only does including
community
Use synonyms
services
Use synonyms
provide first-hand experiences for
students
Use synonyms
but
also
Linking Words
it opens them
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
new perspectives. Undesired outcomes of necessitates of volunteering in high
school
Use synonyms
,
however
Linking Words
, can be observed. In a world where
students
Use synonyms
grapple with academic commitments, burdensome
tasks
Use synonyms
,
as well as
Linking Words
countless hours of preparation,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
excessive obligatory duties can exacerbate the pressing issue, contributing to mental issues,
ending
Correct word choice
and ending
show examples
up
Change preposition
apply
show examples
in serious health problems
such
Linking Words
as anxiety and obesity. Particularly, Western Asian countries
such
Linking Words
as Korea
is
Verb problem
apply
show examples
a prime
example
Fix the agreement mistake
examples
show examples
to demonstrate
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
how additional compulsory
tasks
Use synonyms
can be detrimental
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
students
Use synonyms
’ productivity. To be more precise,
this
Linking Words
concept might likely build
wrong
Correct article usage
a wrong
show examples
perception about volunteering among young adults. Many
ones
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
, in
contemporary
Add an article
the contemporary
show examples
era,
charging
Wrong verb form
charge
show examples
service activities for their
universities application
Fix the agreement mistake
university applications
show examples
as a resume, which
is hiding
Wrong verb form
hides
show examples
the deep meaning of volunteering among
new
Add an article
the new
a new
show examples
generation. Undesired outcomes of
necessitates
Correct article usage
the necessitates
show examples
of volunteering in high
school
Use synonyms
,
however
Linking Words
, can be overcome if some steps
be
Wrong verb form
are
show examples
taken.
Thus
Linking Words
, not only does including
community
Use synonyms
services
Use synonyms
provide first-hand experiences for
students
Use synonyms
but
also
Linking Words
it opens them
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
new perspectives. In conclusion, it is understandable
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
why some people do not advocate forcing
students
Use synonyms
to be actively involved in unpaid
tasks
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, the suggested notion provides
conducive
Correct article usage
a conducive
show examples
learning atmosphere for student as it
lay
Wrong verb form
lays
show examples
the step-stone for them to improve their soft skills, which is helpful for societal welfare.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
You need to provide clearer arguments and examples to support your ideas more strongly.
coherence and cohesion
Try to connect your paragraphs more smoothly to improve the flow of your essay.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure you clarify your main points, as some areas are repetitive and could be more concise.
task achievement
You did a good job presenting a balanced view on the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion nicely summarizes your main points.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: