Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

There are some thoughts that
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
competition
Use synonyms
at
Change preposition
in
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a workplace or at an educational institution is crucial,
while
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the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
others believe that
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
collaboration
Use synonyms
is more important. On
one
Use synonyms
hand,
competition
Use synonyms
can motivate individuals in an
organization
Use synonyms
to give their best performances, but it
led
Wrong verb form
leads
show examples
to a stressful atmosphere.
On the other hand
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,
collaboration
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can synergize many talents
contribute
Correct word choice
and contribute
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their advantages to give the best solutions for a company.
Therefore
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, I believe that
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
collaboration
Use synonyms
is better than
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
competition
Use synonyms
and
this
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essay will explain more about that.
Firstly
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, in a
Use synonyms
competition
Replace the word
competitive
show examples
environment, each person is driven to be the best so he or she will do
the
Change the word
her
show examples
best efforts to be
the
Correct article usage
apply
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number
one
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.
This
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situation may lead someone to do anything they can, even
it
Correct word choice
if it
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is something that unfair.
For instance
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, in running a project, an employee will keep
an important information
Remove the article
important information
a piece of important information
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so only
him
Correct pronoun usage
he
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or
her who
Correct pronoun usage
she
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can
make
Verb problem
get
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the work done.
This
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condition of course
make
Change the verb form
makes
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an
organization
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will
Verb problem
apply
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depend on
one
Use synonyms
personnel, which in turn will hinder it
to run
Change preposition
from running
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smoothly.
Besides
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this
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also
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can make the workers
stressful
Replace the word
stressed
show examples
because they will work hard to net
be
Wrong verb form
being
show examples
beaten by their peers. Meanwhile, in a
collaboration
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system
Add a comma
system,
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each individual is motivated to assemble a puzzle
together with
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others. Every individual has his or her own strengths and weaknesses.
For example
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, someone may be good
in
Change preposition
at
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marketing
while
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the other expert in product
designing
Replace the word
design
show examples
. By collaborating, they can work together
in making
Change preposition
to make
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a product that
well-accepted
Add a missing verb
is well-accepted
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in
market
Correct article usage
the market
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.
This
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eventually will make the company go effectively and make the employees less stressful. In conclusion, the advantages of
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
cooperation outweigh the
competition
Use synonyms
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
one
Use synonyms
. The effectiveness and less pressurized atmosphere are the main advantages of a
collaboration
Use synonyms
system.
Therefore
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, every
organization
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or even school must build an effective
cooperate
Replace the word
cooperative
show examples
culture in their
organization
Use synonyms
.

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task achievement
Make sure to clearly define both views in your introduction. Strengthen your arguments and provide clearer examples to support your points.
coherence and cohesion
Work on the flow of your ideas. Use better linking words between sentences and paragraphs to improve ease of reading.
task achievement
Try to provide more details in your examples to make them more relatable and impactful.
task achievement
You provided a clear opinion on the topic which is important for IELTS essays.
coherence and cohesion
Your structure has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • innovation
  • productivity
  • excel
  • outperform
  • advancements
  • academic standards
  • work ethic
  • stress
  • anxiety
  • unhealthy rivalries
  • harmonious
  • supportive
  • collaborative learning
  • social skills
  • communication skills
  • sense of community
  • collective goals
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