IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation such as an unsatisfactiory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

Adapt to a bad situation with lack of money or
disappointing
Correct article usage
a disappointing
show examples
job
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
 say it is best to try
overcome
Fix the infinitive
to overcome
show examples
 by using dedication or
persistancy
Correct your spelling
persistence
persistency
depends
Wrong verb form
depending
show examples
 on the viewpoint of people.
According to
Linking Words
 some human beings, when you get stuck in
bad
Correct article usage
a bad
show examples
situtation
Correct your spelling
situation
situations
 and you feel there is no option it is better to give up
instead
Linking Words
 of looking for a solution.
For example
Linking Words
:
There
Fix capitalization
there
show examples
 are so many scenarios where a person is doing a
job
Use synonyms
 which is way beyond their skill level but in order to make money for their own and
Correct pronoun usage
their family
show examples
family
Change noun form
family's
show examples
 survival it is necessary with no way out. So, in
this
Linking Words
criteria
Add a comma
criteria,
show examples
 it is better to stay at the
job
Use synonyms
instead
Linking Words
 of
doing
Verb problem
making
show examples
 extra efforts to learn a skill or pursuing a course.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there is a vast population which is beyond
this
Linking Words
 mindset and
try
Correct subject-verb agreement
tries
show examples
 to achieve extraordinary
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
while
Linking Words
 struggling to meet their daily goals. To illustrate: those who strive for success
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
learn extra skills during night school or when they are doing a
part time
Add a hyphen
part-time
show examples
job
Use synonyms
 where they see their
long term
Add a hyphen
long-term
show examples
 future. Doing multiple jobs gives you an opportunity to grasp extra
option
Fix the agreement mistake
options
show examples
 to switch
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
show examples
 if it suits
you
Correct pronoun usage
your
show examples
 skillset better. In my
opine
Correct your spelling
opinion
show examples
,
circumstance
Fix the agreement mistake
circumstances
show examples
 of life are volatile we never know how convenient or hardship is ahead of a person's life.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be improved with
consitancy
Correct your spelling
consistency
constancy
 and making
right
Add an article
the right
show examples
 decision
while
Linking Words
 some people opt easy path and learn to deal with current conditions.

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Task Achievement
Your introduction needs to clearly state your opinion and outline the main points you will discuss in your essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and that your ideas flow logically from one to another.
Task Achievement
Use more specific examples to support your ideas, which will make your points stronger and clearer.
Coherence and Cohesion
Consider adding a short conclusion that summarizes your opinion and the points you have made.
Content
You have made a good attempt to discuss both sides of the argument.
Content
Your essay shows an understanding of the topic by presenting different viewpoints.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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