IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Personal information is shared readily online, and it is easily accessible, as nothing shared online is truly private. What are some possible problems that could arise due to privacy issues online? What are some solutions to these problems? At least 250

In today's day and age private
information
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 is not so private when it comes to the World Wide Web. People are eager to give away their personal
details
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 when it comes to making purchases, accepting cookies, or even making friends online.
However
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, giving away
information
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 about oneself can lead to serious drawbacks, luckily the solutions to these issues are rather simple.
Firstly
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, giving away
information
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 about yourself on the internet is never a good idea, since even “trusted” sources like Google or Facebook have been caught in scandals and lawsuits for selling user
information
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 to
third party
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third-party
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 websites. These
third party
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third-party
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 users could very well be scammers, or honest businesses trying to grow their market.
Nevertheless
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, your personal
details
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, something as insignificant as what ads you look at the most, or something as major as credit card
details
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 can end up in the wrong hands, and in today's society with online scams growing ever more frequent, entering personal
details
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 even into trusted sites, unless it's absolutely necessary, is never a responsible choice. On the flip side, the easiest way to avoid problems that arise with sharing personal
details
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 without hesitation
,
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apply
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 is to simply hesitate before sharing them. Some fake websites spend a lot of money to look as real as possible to the source material, naturally putting your identifiable data into these websites will have you scammed, blackmailed, or might get you a computer virus. When browsing the Web it's crucial to have critical thinking and be skeptical about what you see.
Furthermore
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, these problems can be fixed by just not allowing cookies, by not clicking “remember my credit card
details
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 for next time”, and always staying vigilant, because people can identify you by the smallest bit of
information
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 online.
To conclude
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, the online space is synonymous with
lack
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a lack
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 of privacy.
Thus
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 individuals who are concerned about what they give away to others should think twice before clicking allow and accept
on
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apply
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everything they see
,
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apply
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 because the repercussions of
such
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 actions can be seriously grim.

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task achievement
Make sure to provide more specific examples to support your points. This will help strengthen your argument.
coherence
Consider using clearer transitions between your ideas to enhance flow. This will help the reader follow your argument more easily.
task achievement
Try to elaborate on your solutions more. This will provide a more complete response to the task.
coherence
Your introduction clearly states the issue of online privacy.
task achievement
You’ve presented a balanced view of the problems and solutions which is good.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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