Some parents and teachers think that children’s behaviour should be strictly controlled. While some think that children should be free to behave. Discuss both the views and give your opinion.

Children

Use synonyms

`s behaviour

get

Verb problem

show examples

influences

Wrong verb form

influenced

show examples

from

Change preposition

show examples

many factors.

While

Linking Words

some

people

Use synonyms

believe that

controlled

Change the form of the verb

control

show examples

must be given

Change preposition

over

show examples

their attitudes by their

parents

Use synonyms

, others argue that

give

Wrong verb form

giving

show examples

freedom to

children

Use synonyms

can make them

to have

Verb problem

show examples

self controlled

Add a hyphen

self-controlled

show examples

, namely stay away from something dangerous.

This

Linking Words

essay will discuss both views before I give my own opinion.

Stricked

Correct your spelling

Strict

parents

Use synonyms

teach

children

Use synonyms

to have

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

good behaviour earlier,

for instance

Linking Words

since

Change preposition

from

show examples

5 years old,

children

Use synonyms

are always controlled about who is their

friend

Fix the agreement mistake

friends

show examples

, what should they do, what kind of hobbies

that

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

they should choose, and how to interact

Change preposition

with

show examples

other

people

Use synonyms

. So many materials that

children

Use synonyms

must

be learned

Wrong verb form

learn

show examples

. It is a good value

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

because it never

teach

Wrong verb form

taught

show examples

at school or formal institution,

Linking Words

however

Add a comma

however,

show examples

they implement

direcly

Correct your spelling

directly

a good

attitude

Use synonyms

since young.

That is

Linking Words

a good chance to have a good

attitude

Use synonyms

in the future.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, some

people

Use synonyms

argue that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

children

Use synonyms

unnecessary to learn about

attitude

Use synonyms

early. They believe,

Correct word choice

that give

show examples

give

Wrong verb form

giving

show examples

freedom

Change preposition

show examples

children

Use synonyms

age is better than

push

Wrong verb form

pushing

show examples

them to always

doing

Wrong verb form

show examples

right.

Moreover

Linking Words

, it is normal for

child

Fix the agreement mistake

children

show examples

to do something wrong, they will learn from the mistake and

others

Correct quantifier usage

other

show examples

people

Use synonyms

will accuse them.

This

Linking Words

the

Correct article usage

show examples

good opportunity for

children

Use synonyms

to do anything they want as long as their

parents

Use synonyms

watch them. In my opinion,

children

Use synonyms

are good to have their freedom

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and develop their innovation,

Linking Words

however

Add a comma

however,

show examples

their

parents

Use synonyms

must teach them about to have a good

attitude

Use synonyms

normal

Add an article

a normal

show examples

way not

Correct article usage

a strick

show examples

strick

Correct your spelling

strict

show examples

one.

Children

Use synonyms

will learn how to be

poilite

Correct your spelling

polite

in front

Use synonyms

people

Change preposition

of people

show examples

based on their experience and advice which their

parents

Use synonyms

give.

elfamichellia.kFri May 23 2025

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task achievement

Make sure to clearly state your opinion in the introduction and conclusion.

coherence and cohesion

Use clear topic sentences for each paragraph to improve structure.

task achievement

Provide more specific examples to support your points.

task achievement

You have introduced the topic well and stated that you will discuss both views.

coherence and cohesion

Your ideas show that you understand both sides of the argument.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
35
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

266 words

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Some parents and teachers think that children’s behaviour should be strictly controlled. While some think that children should be free to behave. Discuss both the views and give your opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people think that the government should fund music, dance and art lessons for children. Others think that they should be funded by private businesses or by children’s families. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

More and more people nowadays visit well-known places to take photographs of themselves, without looking at the place. Why do you think this is happening?

Nowadays a large amount of advertising aimed at children should be banned be¬cause of the negative effects. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many believe that being good at a sport is result of talent while others think that it comes from hard work. Discuss both views and give your reasons.

Large businesses have big budgets for marketing and promotions and as a result, people gravitate towards buying their products. What problems does this cause? What could be done to encourage people to buy local products?